Lenten Journey

I will be with you Lord, today as I fast.
It is a way for me to stay with You
for just one hour.
Wednesdays' fast prepares me for Fridays'
and I keep Your Cross before me,
for without the Cross I'd let slip away
the gifts I receive
when I fast for You.

Oh Blessed Mother!

These days are dark but filled with light.

I ask for Your strength, to help me on this Journey.

I'm following Him but the road is rough,

I'm pulled from side to side.

Narrow is the path He walks

but He is bright and lights the way.

A Gift

Our Lord has a way of doing things which I can't even begin to fathom. This morning brought one of those moments that, when they happen to me (which is few and very far between), just stop me literally, in my tracks. I've always had a problem with people telling me what to do, well, not really that but how and when to do something. I always feel that I know best, the "Don't tell me how to do my job" sort of thing. Since taking my vows as a Secular Franciscan I've been trying to live by the rule of humility and humbleness, and most of the time I do, (sort of) but when someone rubs me the wrong way I have a hard time accepting what they say. And if there is any criticism along with whatever else they are saying, forget it. I'm usually steaming for hours after. This morning though, I don't know what He did, He didn't even say anything that I know of, it was more like a turning of one's head a bit or lifting a veil. All of a sudden I knew that I wasn't in charge, I knew that in order to really walk with Christ I must submit totally to my humility, not every once in a while but always, that in doing so I would find something, some insight, some way to make the Journey easier. A tremendous weight lifted from me, not instantly, but little by little as the full scope of the gift He'd just given me sunk in. And with that came the tears and I had to quickly head to the men's room (funny now, not so then. My co-workers wouldn't understand.) After a couple of minutes I walked out of that men's room a different person. And of course I was immediately thrust into a situation where, before I probably would of had an issue with. For once I was able to respond as a true follower of Francis, a follower of Christ. Even as I write this I feel this inner glow, that's the best way for me to describe it. A valuable lesson, given freely from Our God today, taken with thankfulness and, of course, humility. Praise Him forever.

from 'The Little Black Book'

I will meet the Lord in a lot of people today.
Will I recognize him?

Getting through the day...

Lately it's been hard to find a quiet time, that hour or so when, during Lent especially, we can slow ourselves down and at least try to hear the Voice. For me, and I'm sure for many who work long hours during the week quality reflective time is almost non-existent. At night, after supper, shower, Evening Prayer, with the idea to calm down and try to let Our Lord in, to speak with Him, to pray, unfortunately most of the time in less than ten minutes I'm asleep wherever I am. How bad! We have a friend who's retired, a single man, who is always going on retreats because he can't even find quiet, meditative time. And during work, I find myself forgetting about Our Lord. The events of the day become too important (not really, but they trick me!) and that makes me sad. So I try very hard to keep Him in front of me, constantly in some sort of prayer, either to Our Lord, or the Blessed Virgin or Our God Himself. it's the only way I can get through the day.

Our God has blessed us with shining sun and temp's that are climbing into the 50's here in CT. Our day started as we woke at 2:15am to make our Nocturnal Adoration hour from 3-4am. What a gift to be able to spend that time with Our Lord! H and I did Morning Prayer together, our morning offering in the wee hours. Then, silence.
Our Homily today by Fr. Dan on today's Prodigal Son Gospel was centered squarely on sin and its consequences. How when one gets trapped in sin how it's so hard to escape from continuing to sin, sinning over and over. And then when one decides to renounce sin, and after the sacrament of reconciliation, how a person is still very weak, how one's soul has been damaged by sin and even though our sins have been forgiven, it still takes time, sometimes a long time for the graces from God to work, to truly change the soul. Oh, the consequences of sin! Fr. Dan also spoke of our contemplation of our sin and the direct effects it has on us and God. It was an eye-opening look at sin, no sugar coating, just an old school Homily from a Priest that is so very kind, but pulls no punches. God is good.

Getting ready to head over to the church hall for our Pasta Dinner to benefit St. Mary's-Above-Rocks Mission in Jamaica. St. Mary's is run by Franciscans and our church tries to hold a benefit once a year with all proceeds going to them. I'm the pasta maker so wish me luck. Al Dente'!

Events...

Putting up anything here has been nearly impossible lately due to time constraints, an avalanche of events that I'm still trying to digest and then write about and the effects of prednisone that I began taking for my spastic lungs which accompanied my bout with bronchitis. Yech!! I've been weirded out for the last 2 weeks but the weaning process began a few days ago, so hopefully I'll get back into better shape. One can't think straight on prednisone, so I figured I'd just absorb all incoming events and deal with posting later. I've made a major change in my life that has to do with taking on extra work (I'm not going to). In my feeling of importance in being the main supporter of our beautiful family I let my life get out of hand and ruled (in a way) by the almighty dollar. I forgot who was in charge, and needed to be smacked more than a couple of times last week to get it through my head. In feeling so damn important I lost sight of some basic goals, lost sight of the Franciscan Rule, and momentarily lost sight of Christ. When we are weak satan is strong, and once again I found that out. This time though Our Lord helped me to realize my mistake (I know it was Him, otherwise I'd still be ranting) and drove me that evening (Tues.) to confession. Thanks you, Lord, for being there, in the guise of a good Franciscan priest. Thanks for asking just the right question, for having me reflect on something else entirely, until you revealed the wisdom of your love.





Lord, why does it take us so long to let you lead us, let you lead me? And why can't I let myself go completely, to place all these burdens that I'm really starting to feel at your feet. Why do I insist on carrying everything and everyone around? These are my questions, Lord, to you this Lent. These are the questions I'll ask myself.

Trials

Tuesday, the 16TH - The sudden firing Monday of a co-worker of mine has thrown me out of sync. Although not unexpected, it still came as a shock to most of us. Without going into details let me say that at times (most times!) he was rude, arrogant, sexist, racist, you name it he was it. But he was a good work friend, and I'm sorry to see him go. Even though I spoke with him about his actions on a personal level and as a General Foreman (I was his boss) He kept going back to his old ways, which just didn't fit in with our ways. It leaves me wondering if there was more I could have done, or should have. And I can't help thinking that his wife is going to flip when she hears the news. She knows how S acts and was always telling him to straighten out, your going to get fired.

Well, he did.

So it's like a hunk of darkness that settles inside of you when all this happens. The reading from Monday, James 1:1-11, how it is a joy to have trials, and to be tested in faith, produces perseverance. Well, I wasn't really tested in my faith but I was put to the test a bit with S, and maybe I failed. I've been waiting for him to contact me but he hasn't, he's texted and e-mailed almost everyone else here, complaining how he was shafted. Everyone here has an opinion but I've kept a low profile. Something (or someone,my guardian angel?) has kept my thoughts muffled, even inside. I will not pass judgement on S. We always told him "You don't need us to give you a shovel, your always carrying one around with you," in reference to him digging a hole for himself here at work.
Friday, the 19TH - It took all week to write this post and most of the uneasiness that stemmed from the firing of S has subsided, with the busyness of a workweek taking over. Even myself, I've gotten over the shock part but not the disappointment of the loss of a c0-worker. I'm probably just over analyzing the situation but I keep coming back to the whole event and I guess just wish the world were different. In a perfect world, this would be and that would be... but it just isn't so. We move on, we continue to labor, to love, to live our lives. An uncle of mine flew from this earth this week and his son, my cousin isn't even having a service for him, never mind a catholic funeral. Just burn him up and put him in the ground. So that's been on my mind this week. A week of trials, anger and reflection. And in the middle of the week Ash Wednesday. In a way, how perfect. Take up your cross, and follow me. I've got it Lord, and I'm with you.

From the heart...

It seems that I post a lot about Adoration. Right now, maybe because of the time of year (winter in CT) or the time in my life, I find that when I'm in His Presence I'm able to slow down a bit to either talk to Him or not talk, pray the Rosary or just let my mind wander a bit. Most of my day is spent at work, and there is no real time (except for lunch) to relax. A crazy way to earn a living, if you ever saw us in the shop. I'm hoping to get through a few more years and then we'll see what happens. I know that planning like that isn't the best way to go but I'll just leave it at that.
This past week at work was one of those 'weeks from h...,' if you get my drift. Certain people bring so much personal baggage with them to work and the negative energy really affects us. This is a person I've talked about before and over the years I've learned to love her somewhat, but not in the way I should. I don't know if I'll ever love her the way Jesus asks us to love, but I try. Lets say it's a part of my life that, as long as we work together I will be challenged in love. On account of other people who didn't fill in for co-workers who were out for personal reason, sickness, etc, our workplace this week was a personal strain on many levels and on many good people. Thursday's Adoration came up and earlier in the day as I tried to gather my thoughts for my hour and I thought I had a good idea of what I'd present to Him. But I'm thickheaded and thick hearted, thinking (once again!) that I was in charge. When I got there I re-read the First Reading and the Gospel for the day and mulled that around in my mind for awhile. Read again from Medjugorje Day by Day and as usual, became disappointed in myself. Cracked open the Bible and read more about Solomon and his troubles. Other prayers, the Rosary, but everything seemed dry and just out of reach. I should know better that with me Our Lord doesn't really say much, but with last week's uplifting hours before Him I guess I expected more.
So at six I left.
Halfway home (it's only a 12 minute ride) I thought again of my co-worker whom I really try to understand, who carries with her so so much anger and bitterness, and I thought to myself (or God?) What can I do, how can I deal with her? and as soon as I internally voiced this thought loud and clear came the answer; With Love. Only with love. It was if He'd been waiting for me through the whole Adoration to ask that question, heck, maybe I've been waiting my whole life. And as He said it to me, straight to my inner self, I sort of knew what to do with her, how to use God's love through me to her. And that is to show the Face of His Son all the time, not when it's convenient, but all the time. Such a challenge! Such a simple yet devastatingly difficult new beginning. Because when we put on the Face of Christ, the armor of Christ it gives us new strength. The Face of Christ is to be seen, not hidden under a basket, but brought forth to shine for our hard pressed co-workers, a daughter who's struggling or a son who's searching. A Face to shine on a wife (or husband) who is there for you forever, two become one. So my Hour with Him that I thought was anything but fruitful bore much after I asked my question from my heart.

Adoration reflection

I intended to start this post last Sunday afternoon but it didn't happen. By then my head was just too tired, and if I can't write my thoughts with a strong, clear inner voice I won't post. Everyone who reads my thoughts deserves my best.

Since our conversion/spiritual journey began a few years ago H and I have found ourselves volunteering or stepping into help, whatever one wants to call it, whenever Our Lord passes these opportunities before us. H does Meals-On-Wheels, brings the Eucharist to home bound and people in the convalescent home, etc. And together and separately we fill in Adoration Hours at three different churches, which is an unbelievable blessing. Our parish has Thursdays from 12:00 noon until 7:30pm, which H has the 3-4 hour and I have the 5-6. St. Martha's has Adoration from 6:00am until 10:00pm but that parish is having trouble getting volunteers to keep it open all those hours. We do the 6-7pm on Friday nights but we usually repose Our Lord on account of no one showing up after 7. And at All Saints Church we joined the Nocturnal Adoration Society because a husband/wife team for some reason couldn't make it anymore. With nocturnal adoration it's a rotating schedule and All Saints only has it on First Friday into First Saturday. This month we had the 2-3am slot. These middle of the hours are so special. Only the two of us with Our Lord. Very very quiet. Occasional car drives by. A radiator pops and creaks. We usually say either Night Prayer or Morning Prayer, depending. Out loud, to Our Lord. We pray a Rosary out loud to Him Who Is There. When I leave All Saints after spending time with Him I feel so full, and sometimes dazed. Any prayer in the very early morning is somehow different. For me, it seems richer, almost. The silence and no distractions, gifts from the Lord that say Come, speak to me a bit. What troubles you? What is on your mind.

Words that are not heard but felt.



Three plus hours of Adoration in two plus days is, for me, a very real gift. For the rest of the weekend I felt at times so fragile, but also so very clear. I was filled up with the Lord, and in His filling up He slowed me down, slowed my mind down a bit and though the feeling of Him filling me to the brim has somewhat passed the slowing down has not. Each time I knelt before Him it was as if He was saying something soothing, a wordless drawing of me to Him. Lately my quiet times with Our God has left me more aware, more alert, for lack of a better description. Other events happened during the weekend but they all pale in my reflection of my time with Our Lord. The more often I can place myself before Him, the more clearer my purpose for Him will become, that I truly believe.

Todays Gospel

Today, one of my favorite Gospel readings; Mark 6:7-13. I'm willing to bet this was one of St. Francis' faves too. I remember reading in the Omnibus how Francis was so excited when there were enough Brothers to send out to different lands on preaching missions and how excited he was when some didn't come back! I couldn't help but try to compare (well, not compare, wrong choice of words!) but how we are first called to the Lord and then he sends us out, sometimes two by two to preach, (my wife and I) usually by example, to our family, our friends, our co-workers, everyone who touches our lives. And like the early Franciscan brothers some of us come back and some do not, not necessarily because of physical death but spiritual death. For some of us the Narrow Way is maybe too difficult, and for whatever reasons some fall away or grow quiet. We don't know why. I know a lot of people who have grown quiet over the years, accepting the road they're on to be the one for them, the path that will lead them to Him. I grow sad even now thinking about them, close friends and family members that I've had a hard time reaching as I'm traveling on my road, my journey for Him. Even though I own a home and cars and all the "stuff" that goes along with this life when I'm representing Him it is only me, -no food, no sack no money in my belt-trying to preach by example and sometimes using words.

The Presentation...of me

On this Feast of the Presentation of Our Lord I find myself focusing on how we, like the child Jesus, are presented to our God everyday, not by our mothers, although the Blessed Mother helps us if we ask her, but how we present ourselves to Him, every day, every moment. Some days, the person we present is better than others. Today is not a very good presentation day for me. Things have bothered me today and since this is a very busy week for me I seem to be focusing on the negative instead of the positive, I'm trying to influence the day instead of letting the Lord influence me. The Lord Our God deserves better than this.

More prayer is needed....and humility....and humbleness.

Friday Fast

The best fast is on bread and water. Through fasting and prayer, one can stop wars, one can suspend the laws of nature. Charity cannot replace fasting. Those who are not able to fast can sometimes replace it with prayer, works of love, and confession; but everyone, except the sick, must fast. - BVM 7/21/82

The intersession of Our Mother and the gifts from Our God are amazing; I was reminded of that today. As I was sitting at my desk at work this morning (5:45, yikes!) with my coffee (yes, coffee), I heated up a small roll H had bought for today, a fast day for us. Before I ate it, in my prayer I asked God to help me get through this day without too many stumbles in my fasting, to keep me strong and not weak minded, to just keep an eye on me. I'm not good at fasting. H can get by with water and well, usually just that until supper, when the menu usually is pizza dough with a little grated cheese on it. Me, I sort of cheat with crackers, maybe a pretzel or two, and really, too much bread. But my mind never really feels right, I'm more concerned with what I don't have than the gifts I do have. So, for me, it's a constant uneasy go of it, even with much prayer.
At 8:00am we have a break for breakfast and that's when I do my morning reading from MEDJUGOREJE DAY BY DAY by Richard Beyer. And there, just for me (so I think!) was today's message from Our Blessed Mother. In my heart, I felt a joy, almost a jolt of sorts, as I read the words. This is my second time through this book, which I read every morning, and I've heard the BVM speak of fasting many times, but today she made Herself known to me in this sweet small way. "I'm with you, we'll get through this day together," is what I felt after reflection on the message. I need that today, more than I usually do. There have been issues with family members and close friends that have been weighing on H and myself this week or so and it seems that with every step forward in dealing with these arising's everyone takes two steps back. A quiet weekend lies ahead, and I hope a time for prayer and reflection.
My day is not over yet, and the end of the month work hysteria that accompanies it has arrived and 4:30 is looking better and better. Holy Hour from 6-7 tonight is a blessing in itself.

Conversion Reflection

What more can I add to the already fine posts I've read today about one of the greatest stories in the Bible, the conversion of Saul? Nothing, really, but I will say this; I can see a bit of Saul in me, not so much now, but from a long time ago and that period in my life lasted for most of it until now. Although I never had anyone dragged away in chains I still, in my way persecuted them, verbally mostly, but in those acts I'm sure I inflicted damage on untold peoples lives that I'll never know. Someday I'll have to spend a considerable amount of time in prayer about my actions and even as I write this more and more events of my past life percolate upward. The type of actions that are only burnt away in purgatory. ...what you have done to the least of my brothers... To say we are human is not enough, it is no excuse at all. It's only a way to avoid the narrow gate, the Way of Life. He said to me "Go deeper," and I asked him, what do you mean, Lord, what do you want me to do?

In this reflection at least one path has been made clear to me.

A regret...ending in joy!

As you all know, today is the March For Life in Washington D.C. I was supposed to be there this year but I'm not. I'm behind my desk at work. Up until a couple of weeks ago my name was still penciled in on the calender in the inspection room, 'keith' written in black erasable marker. But then the doubts set in, and the first couple of weeks after the holidays found my paychecks pretty thin due to shortened work weeks and a little extra spending. So I thought twice, even three times about going, and came to the conclusion that I should pass it up, 'Hay when the sunshine's' now that we're back on our usual work hours, and try to get us back in the black a bit and catch up on bills. In hindsight (the best vision!) I see now who turned me, who brought those doubts into my head; the master of lies himself, satan. I should have known, should have seen it coming, but I think he struck when I was weak, he knew to strike then because of my feelings of sorry for myself for my lot in life. I learned a lesson from all this, well, not really learned, it was always there, but sometimes the weight of worldly troubles gets the best of me, which it did in the weeks after Christmas (why then, it's a joyous time!) and the father of lies found a way in and spoke. We're told to be on guard all the time, constantly, because "satan is out there, prowling like a lion".



So now I sit behind my desk, and write to you. But not in tears.



Yesterday at Holy Hour, 5-6pm for me, after my stumbling bit of internal yakking to Him, and after the Rosary, and in the middle of a prayer or a plea, the words "Go deeper" silenced me. Out of nowhere, He spoke. And in me, like with the spirit in David, a rush. And then the words "Do not be lukewarm". I was stunned. Stunned then, and still am now. He will hear your plea. He heard my agony over letting slip by the chance to March for Life, to be in solidarity with my brothers and sisters to protest the horrors of abortion. He heard my cries and in His way gave me comfort, and guidance. Go deeper. Do not be lukewarm. St. Teresa of Avila says that when God speaks to you your soul will know, and you will never forget, the words will stay fresh forever. Since hearing those words yesterday, in reflection and prayer I believe He opened another door, and He's standing there, one arm holding it open, His other arm beckoning to me, calling me, "This way!". I know now to never listen to those doubts, be on guard at all times, stand firm in our faith. I hope I'm up to the challenge, but only God has that answer. Where He wants me to go I have no idea where that will lead me.



But I'm here to follow.

Haiti (a reflection)

This last week or so has not been the smoothest or easiest of times. With the destruction of Haiti on CNN almost constantly, and I've watched my share, I find the sorrows there make me, on top of all the other emotions that surface, very uneasy. I do not doubt God, and I never will, I'm just saying that when something like this happens, so close to home, where your loved ones have gone to on mission and spent time, where you know people who know people there very closely, where you know people who have spent the last ten years of their lives returning, returning, and returning again to build schools, housing, fish farms, plant fruit tree groves, to see most of this crushed in a matter of 30 seconds, for me, after the prayers, the novenas and the rosaries, I'm only left to reflect on the mystery. The whys we'll never know, not in this lifetime...

I can go no further, with words, with this thread.

I did finally come to the realization (I don't know what took me so long, in hindsight I feel pretty stupid,) that the our Knights of Columbus, Council 1395, should do our part in the relief efforts. So this Saturday I'm going to set up a little card table, a can and some posters and signs and sit near the entrance to our small local grocery store, The Food Center. The owner isn't a Knight but a very nice guy whom I'll occasionally see praying the Rosary during Holy Hour on Thursdays. At last nights Officers Meeting we decided to also offer a table during our Pancake Breakfasts for people to donate. Since none of us can get there to help it's the least we can do.

Even as I write this, a 6.1 earthquake has shaken Haiti.

Well, it's Saturday morning, 6:52, and I'm at work. Wow! Not something I usually do, because normally our shop doesn't work on Sat., occasionally one or two guys, but that's it. Today, though, most of us are here, 15 or so of us, "haying when the sun shines", as thy say. When I'm home on a Sat. morning by now H and I have had lots of coffee, said our different morning prayers, and had a nice breakfast. Then on our way to morning Mass whoever is the passenger reads our Morning Prayer from the Christian Prayer book aloud. It's about a 25 min. ride to St. Martha's in Enfield, and that's just about enough time. It's something we do in order to get everything in on a weekend. The point I'm trying to make is that all week I've been mulling over in my mind about our comfort zones, how most of us hate to get pushed out of them, how at times we'll do or say unusual things just to stay in them. I'm just as bad as the next person, for sure. Being here at work today, I'm out of my c.z. for sure. And I have to admit, I'm only here for the money. So sad, really, because there is a big difference between getting out of your c.z. for a worthy cause then for money. I guess that these are the everyday crosses that God give us to bear, and to bear with a smile.
And then there's getting shoved out of your comfort zone because of an earthquake. Watching the whole sanitized version of the disaster unfold on CNN, no matter how hard I try to plumb my soul for an ounce of despair that a Haitian must feel right now, I cannot find it. Maybe in a way I'm becoming numb to it all, here, thousands of miles away. My comfort zone for something like this is too great, their ordeal is something far from me, and I can only watch and pray. To offer up those small prayers that I say all day to Jesus, to Francis, to The Blessed Virgin Mother, to God Himself, offer them up for the Haitian people and to ask God to hear their plea, to bring comfort to the suffering. I know that my comfort zone is here with my always, a heavy chain holds me fast to it. Our Lord asks us to break the chains that bind us, and so far I don't think I've done any of that. The deeper I go in prayer the more challenges the Lord puts before me, as it should be. Help me Lord to stay on this path, this path to You, that I may give myself completely to you in order to help others. Remind me again and again Lord, like you did this week in Adoration, how every time I looked up to You I heard You say: Come, follow Me.

Haiti

Just a quick post for now asking for prayers of any kind for the Haitians around the world and in Haiti itself. The old cliche' 'unless you've been there' still holds true for Haiti. The poor state of living has just been made a thousand times worse. Helen has been twice, in the area approx. 10 miles west of the epicenter. She knows lay and religious there, and no word from them yet. Like I said, prayers are needed...

Todays Gospel Reading

Luke 4:14-22

Today's gospel reading is one of my favorites; but this only occurred to me this morning as I read it. Just imagine yourself being there, sitting in the synagogue. 'He stood up to read and was handed a scroll of the prophet Isaiah.' And then he reads those famous lines-

The Spirit of the Lord is
upon me,
because he has anointed me
to bring glad tidings
to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim
liberty to captives
and recovery of sight to the
blind,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to proclaim a year
acceptable to the Lord.

He rolls up the scroll, and then sits down.

And then those electrifying words; "Today this Scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing."

Just imagine being there to see and hear this astonishing series of events. How did it happen that He was given that reading to read? A wide mix of emotions must have swept through the room after Our Lords' pronouncement. ..."fulfilled in your hearing." How would I have reacted? What kind of a person would I have been back then? Now, upon hearing this reading a cheer goes up in our hearts - Yes! Hooray! - but back then? I don't know. Mad? Unbelief? Or would my heart have been moved, as it is moved now by the smallest phrase, a simple psalm line or an ancient song?

I'll never know, but I can dream...

A thought on humility..

Let me say this; God does shower us with Graces. When He wants and with no reward to or for us, He just does. That's all I can say, because no matter how much I think about it, pray about it or try to talk about it no sense can be made of it (to me, that is.) I'm just trying to accept it, which is hard for me. My mindset is too tightly wound at times, preventing me from seeing those Graces. In these weeks after the Birth of Our Lord I've been made more aware of Him in my lowly life, and it truly is amazing. Probably because of Christmas and the realization of how vulnerable the child was, and the humbleness of the Holy Family that Our Lord decided to turn my head just a little, just enough to say Look! This is humbleness. This is humility. During my formation period in the S.F.O. I thought I had a good idea about those traits of character that were the bedrock of Christ on Earth. Only now I realize not as clearly as I thought. I liked the idea of humility and humbleness but never really knew how to achieve it.

He may have given me a ray of hope.

Tonight is our K of C Dinner Meeting, and I'm actually going into this meeting with positive ideas instead of dread. Positive ideas given to me in a kernel of truth by The Lord.

A reflection...

Well, there ended up being no time found to post when I wanted to say something and then when I had time, my mind was cooked. But that's OK. The end of Advent/Beginning of Christmas was busy, but at times, blessedly enveloped in silence. Even when we were singing in the choir at the Vigil Mass on Christmas Eve I tried to let silence rule. In between songs, just the reflection of the Baby Jesus in the womb. Not easy. I feel that Mass is sometimes the hardest place to focus in on Our Lord. Just too many distractions, but that's another issue, another post. Concerning the Choir, every year H and I say this is it, no more Folk Choir and regular Choir singing at the holidays, but we end up doing it anyway. We're asked, and we feel guilty saying no! At least H can sing, I just squawk along and try. But Lida keeps asking me back, so I can't say no, can I? I always equate it with Our Lord asking. Who can say no to someone or something that is good for one and all but pushes us out of our comfort zone a bit? I can't, not any more. The comfort zone was a topic in our meditation yesterday at our Secular Franciscan Christmas Gathering. Let me say right first, our gathering was just that, a gathering of brothers and sisters of like mind, devoted to living the Gospel and following in Our Lord's footsteps wherever that may lead. It felt really good to be there, breaking bread and praying together. At our monthly meetings there is always work to do, and even after the meeting proper, when we have a little snack, about half of our group has to leave on account of time constraints. So yesterday was a day to just relax and chat, to enjoy each other's company and rejoice in so many blessings that have been given to us. That said, in our group of about 25 or so there are two or three strong personalities that, at times, well, what can I say, strong personalities are just that; strong. Yesterday they weren't there, and the gathering took on a decidedly different feel. Our hostess, Marilyn steped in for the reading and reflection, and it was beautiful. Our Minister, Rich, played his guitar quietly in the background. The sun broke through the grey overcast and streamed in through the windows with that slanted and weak winter brightness. Some spoke of Francis, others of Our Blessed Mother, and I think we all felt the presence of Jesus there.
I know for myself, my comfort zone was nudged big time when I became Grand Knight for our K of C Council 1395. I don't consider myself G.K. material, didn't have any aspirations for it and tried to stay clear of the one-man committee that was trying to find a worthy G.K. But as I believe, God, when he wants us for something, he knocks on that door, and keeps knocking, nudging, until we let him in. It was good to hear others speak of their experiences this way, and in that, knowing we are not alone in our dealings with God. As I write this I see more clearly how we must let God lead us, to almost shout the phrase that has been sung so many times before; Lord, show me the way! Show me Your Will that I may do it!

Christmas Eve Day

Hopefully I'll find time this Christmas weekend to post. A lot has gone on during this Advent, almost too much. Isn't that always the way this time of year? The secular world nudges in no matter how hard we try to keep it out. And we really don't want to keep it out completely, we just are trying to keep focused. And that can be very hard unless one lives in a cave. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad...

Merry and Blessed Christmas, and thanks for all the exchange of ideas during this year!

Peace to all as we await the Lord!

A reflection...

A wonderful reflection today in Medjugorje Day By Day.


C. S. Lewis...wrote that "Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ is vere latitat-truly hidden."
In this sense the love of neighbor is parallel to the love of God; we cannot love one without the other since they are inseparable-the vine and the branches, the Mystical Body of Christ.

Reflect of the words of St. Teresa of Avila: "Though we do not have Our Lord with us in the bodily presence, we have our neighbor, who, for the ends of love and loving service, is as good as Our Lord himself."

I just wanted to share that with everyone. It seems that in these days of Advent I know I myself, in prayer, have felt, seen and heard many gifts given to me by Our God, for me, more than ever before. It seems every time I turn He is there, though not in plain sight, he is there watching to see if I saw, if I caught the glimpse, or felt His touch.

Our God is a wonderful God.

Confession

Yesterday, being Thursday is our day of Adoration in our parish. I have the 5-6pm hour, which gives me just enough time to get there after work. After Sister Barbara left about 5:10 I was alone with Our Lord. For the beautiful silence in there it could have been midnight. Only the creaks and groans of an old church. During this Advent season the Friars are offering Confession from 6:30-7:30, after which Our Lord is returned to the Tabernacle. This Saturday, on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe I will re-consecrate to Our Lord Jesus through Mary for the third year in a row, so having confession available was truly a God-send. I've been thinking lately about Confession, and how last Sat. with a priest who hasn't heard my confession before I sort of froze up, and never got to the place where I wanted to go, to confess a different level, you might say, of my sinful life. I just ended up repeating the same round of sins as usual, the same repeatable sins that I do week in and week out. I don't know, but I think I may have these sins, to some degree, the rest of my working life, because I relate these sins to my work place, the place where I am 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I struggle with these sins, pray about them, gain on them and then, they overtake me again. A constant battle, but the Lord has granted me the gift to know that these sins, these challenges are my cross to carry for Him, my road to travel to Him.
In Confession I think Fr. R. was able to understand somewhat where I was going in explaining the reason why I wanted him to be more firm with me and not fall back on the mantra "Your too hard on yourself!" I'm done with that penance. I need to hear it from a Priest, from Jesus-on- earth that when you daydream during Evening Prayer that is wrong, don't do it, focus on the incense rising to Heaven. That even though one tries to do three Rosaries' a day, if not even one is done truly from the heart then why bother? These human frailties bother me, and I hope Fr. R understood, I think he did but more importantly do I understand what He wants of me, or am I just listening to myself, dreaming of what I'd like to be.

Andrew, my Guardian Angel

Today is the Feast of St. Andrew, which is my middle name, my Dad's name and also the name of my Guardian Angel. How do I know that, you ask? Well, two years ago we were out at Franciscan University in Ohio, visiting our son. If you've never been there it's worth going to if your in the area. For myself, I can truly say that on that campus I felt the real presence of God every time we were there. He is in the buildings, on the grounds, with the Franciscan priests, the brothers and sisters but especially with the students. It's quite a place. The have a beautiful replica of the Portiunculla, the first church that Francis rebuild, and very near to that chapel is a Memorial to the Unborn. H and I always spend time there, sitting on one of the stone benches,
each with our own thoughts. On that occasion, in a great overcoming rush of memory, I remembered that in my previous life, now far back in a time I can't believe at times it actually was, my first wife became pregnant, and she had an abortion. Our baby, and she had the abortion. And I let it happen. Then, as even now, in times of stress, I'm not very good. I usually either freak out, yelling, saying things I shouldn't, emotions running rampant, sense out the window. Or I clam up and hide in myself for a while, hide until someone else takes care of the problem or it goes away. I remember doing just that, I can still remember the numb feeling that settled in. Her Mother even helped her. It was bizarre. I put the whole thing away, put it away in one of those dark chinks we all have just for those occasions. Until Our Lord brought it back for me on that warm October afternoon, sitting on the smooth stone bench, as I gazed at dried red roses that someone had left, the many sets of rosary beads draped across the headstone, the small candles flickering. He let it come back with the strength of a freight train, no holding back, Our Lord saying here, here is a gentle reminder of what man can do, what we do do every day, what I did back then. And it hurt. I had never felt that hurt, never had anyone snatched away like that and I let it happen and he/she was gone. I will always carry with me that tremendously sad howl that came from that dark chink where I'd stored that memory. I'll remember both days, the day I wanted to forget and the day I remembered forever.

And after I'd calmed down, after prayer, after H held me and didn't say a word, all of a sudden he was just there, and I knew with 100% certainty that he'd been there forever, my Guardian Angel, right next to me. I felt God's love coming from him, he felt so familiar and I knew his name was Andrew. In his own G.A way he was saying hey, I'm here, I'm yours, ask me and I'll help.

Andrew has been busy hanging with Helen, whose been battling a possible case of Dengue Fever. By the look of things, he helped.

Adoration

Okay, I admit, I was wrong. Dengue Fever is the correct name, and it is a mosquito borne virus which is non-treatable and lasts about a week. Ignore most of my last post. H had just about everything that most internet sites explained it as, plus it really puts a strain on your liver. Dr. S. called late today and said to only eat bananas, rice, applesauce and toast. Those foods the liver has not quite such a hard time breaking down. H has been eating tiny bit s of everything but what's on that food list, hence the upset stomach and the constant burping.

The road to recovery is taken with baby steps...



H and I signed up for an hour of Adoration at St. Martha's Church in Enfield. This church has a beautiful Latin Rite Mass every Sunday at noon. They've had a small adoration chapel for the last 27 years but at the last Mass we went to the group of parishioners who oversee the scheduling had a table set to sign up anyone who could take an hour or more. The Friday night from 6-7 was open, so we took it. Who wants Friday night from 6-7? Not too many people, by the looks of it. We thought it a good Franciscan thing to do, take the hour that nobody wants. Although we've been to Adoration there many times this was our first night with the 6-7 slot. H couldn't go but she said go, I'll be fine, so I went. Four people there but at 6:05 I was the only one left. And it stayed that way for the whole hour I was there. Just me, the wind outside the window and Our Lord, about five feet away from me. After my readings and prayers it was just one on one, He and I, in the quiet of that room. It was, I feel, the most peaceful and uplifting Adoration Hour I've ever spent. If H wasn't home so sick I would have spent another hour there with Him. At 7:00 no one showed, and by 7:15 I decided to follow the directions on the back of the door for reposing Our Lord. That in itself, although just entailing blowing out four candles, reposing Our Lord and locking the door will always be remembered by me in a special way. I did something special for him. I helped put Our Lord to bed, one might say. For me, it was something especially moving, especially beautiful.

Update #2

After more blood work done this morning Dr. S. phoned with the results: White and red cell count both up, with the white doubling from the last tests (wed.). At that moment he was leaning towards some sort of Hepatitis. Then, 10 minutes later Margaret called to tell us that 16 year old Patrick, who had gone to Haiti with the group was in Mass General diagnosed with Dun gay Fever. Helen immediately called Dr. S. back and he said yes, it all might be making more sense. He said he's going to stop the Hep. tests and focus on the Dun gay Fever tests. One catches this fever from breathing the dust from the dirt roads in poor, third world countries like Haiti. The defecation from all the animals using the road, plus anything that dies on the road turns to dust and Helen's' group breathed a lot of it on they're two hour journey to a far away school. She said they all had handkerchiefs wrapped around their mouths but I guess it doesn't matter much. On last year's trip one of the guys who went contracted D.F. but never had it treated. He just rode it out. I guess it eventually goes away. Yeow! I told her if I had known of this hazard I would have gotten the group a box of decent respirators. We use them at work and a box of 15 I can get for about $16.00. Hindsight is ...

Update

So this is the latest with Helen; Blood tests confirm no H1N1, no stomach ailment that is known, not even an allergic reaction to the chloroquine. She could still have malaria, even though she took pills to not get it, or it could be a virus, which will just have to work its way out, or who knows. More blood tests on Friday to see if her red and white blood cell count goes up. Right now both are way down, which leaves her very susceptible to any infection. So the two of us are just going to hang low for Thanksgiving. Today she was up for most of the day, hungry as heck but a tuna fish sandwich finally did her in and she's nauseous again. Keep her in your prayers that the Doctors either figure it out or it finally works its way away.

Nasty business

A small lull in the blogging scene, although I've been reading plenty of them, just not commenting or posting on my own. Helen returned from Haiti last Thursday evening, I picked her up at Logan in Boston. There's always a little getting used to each other every time H returns from a trip but this time was different. By the end of the day Friday she was sick as a poor dog. And of course its the weekend, so its either the emergency room or wait it out until Monday, which we did. Nausea, ache all over and a splitting headache. A trip to Dr. S neither confirmed nor ruled out H1N1, but they did all the swabs and sent her to the lab with everything in a zip lock bag and a particulate respirator to wear when going into the hospital. He said it also could be a bug picked up in Haiti, but she'll have to wait until the tests are done to find out positive. Nasty business, getting sick...

The Weekend

Quiet on the posting front. H is still in Haiti, I'll pick her up this Thursday evening. I've been out of sorts a bit since she left. It's funny how things work. As she made her plans to go to Haiti I made my plans as to what I'd do when she was gone. Nothing special, work on this, fix that. And I did get to most of them, although I couldn't get the leaf blower fixed (too much for me.) I made plans to spend more time in prayer, since the house will be quiet and I'll have extra time. Maybe take a drive to a neighboring town where a favorite church of ours has a daily Adoration that lasts until 10:00pm. Just things I could do on my own, small events to help me through my weekend. Well, none of those things materialized. Thursday Adoration was it. No Mass on Sat. morning. But instead of those carefully laid plans of mine God had his own; the gift of making breakfast for my daughter Celena Sat. morning. Taking care of her laundry (I don't mind doing it. It's been a long time since I helped her out this way.) Celena is a freshman in college, she commutes and our schedules never really coincide, so it was wonderful to spend a bit of time together and help her out. Just different stuff. But you know, maybe because Helen has been gone for a few days and I've been in a non-talking mode, in those times when I was alone, raking the leaves, cleaning at work, it seems I was able to concentrate just a little more on that conversation with God we all try to keep going 24/7. I found I was able to focus on the Mysteries a little bit longer than usual as I said my Rosary. Small prayerful times like those. And realizations that come to oneself during the course of the day, usually buried under the onslaught of our daily workload, to be forgotten almost as soon as they're revealed. Small stuff that grew in size as the weekend went on. Our Lord taking care of me for no reason. I'm just so glad I didn't miss it all.

Now is the time for prayer...

Today is a fast day for me. I've sort of complained about fasting in the past, but I won't anymore. Since H is in Haiti, I figure this is a good opportunity to actually do what I seek, which is to have more quiet time in prayer which will help me (I hope!) to turn inward more. To say there's not enough time in the day is no excuse, but it's somewhat true. I'm going to let my monkish desires prevail, or whatever I think they are. This week is fairly quiet in terms of meetings at night, etc. We gather at the church tonight for evening prayer together, but that's it, and I'm looking forward to that. But I do have to say, living alone is not what I'm used to, spiritually. When H and I are together we do everything spiritual together. Going alone is a bit different for me. It really makes me appreciate the fact the we did begin our conversion somewhat at the same time, we professed together, etc. Two became one, ain't that a fact. Even now, after all these years, the memory of my old self curls around like a smoke, which I'm just seeing out of the corner of my eye. Not good. I think Our Lord put a special trial here just for me these next 10 days. A little invitation, and a challenge for me, too.

Now is the time for prayer.

Little Children of Mary

Helen is on her way to Haiti with the group Little Children of Mary to do some mission work. This is her second trip, and she's really been looking forward to getting back there. Ten days down there, and this time they go up-country to a school that hardly gets any visitors with supplies from the states. It used to be a 6 hour ride but with the new road it's only 2, so that's one of the highlights of the trip. Please all keep her and all of LCoM in your prayers. Haiti isn't the stablest of country's, but Margret has gone about a dozen times and knows a lot of people. Also, and this is very exciting, H and Margret have a meeting set up with a high-ranking Minister whom they met over the summer at a LCoM fundraiser. The plan: To change the mind-set of this Minister, who has the power to put weight behind a push for increased abortions on Haiti. M and H hope that through all of our prayers, the intersession of the BVM and they're own witness and faith that they can change this woman's mind to drop the abortion push. Helen was most nervous about this part of the trip, how she couldn't hope that whatever she said to the Minister would do any good. I said to just let God speak through you, and let the words work. We shall see...

The Dinner Meeting

Well, I get wound up for nothing. The K of C meeting went real well, tackling most of the important issues with the members we had. And all clocking in at just over an hour. It's hard to get a lot of check-writing done without the Treasurer or Financial Secretary present, but we did what we could. Our core group of Knights is really all who show up anymore, even for a Dinner Meeting, which we had last night. Homemade meatloaf, real mashed potatoes, corn, coffee, homemade bread pudding for dessert and a bottle of red wine before the meal still couldn't bring in more than 15 people. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe nothing, I don't know. I thought if I appealed to the more spiritual side of the Knights, to bring my Secular Franciscanism to bear, more guys would come back, join in the meetings. I was wrong. Maybe it's just hard to get people to come out at night, I don't know.
My wife Helen and the Deputy Grand Knight's wife, Jean, made the meal. Delicious! Our next meeting will be the Christmas Social, which will bring together the Ladies Guild, Catholic Daughters, widows of Knights that have passed on, the Friars, the Sisters and family members. Not till next month, though. I'm taking a breather right now. Time to focus more deeply on simple prayer. When we have an event coming up I have a hard time putting 100% into anything. It seems like everything I do only gets 60% of my attention, the event, family, work, prayer. I'm sure everyone has the same problem. Right now, back to work. (If I can focus!)

A busy but pleasurable week coming up, the only dark cloud being the Knights of Columbus Dinner Meeting tomorrow night. Being the Grand Knight is not what I wanted, but I have it, so be it. I worry too much about everything, and no matter how much I delegate I always feel that it all rests on me, which it sort of does. (Ignore me, just complaining.)
Helen heads off to Haiti next week for ten days, doing mission work with The Little Children of Mary. Exciting time for her and me, well, C and I will hold down the fort, pray for a successful trip and every ones' safe return.

Forgiveness

I've been quiet this week, trying to absorb and let blow over an event that took place last Friday. Sometimes human nature can really throw you for a loop. I hate to use more cliches' but just when you think you know someone...
All it was was a small minor incident of misunderstanding, which turned into someone storming out of an event where we Secular Franciscans were helping together. A soup kitchen, of all things. I'm not going to go into details, but someone didn't like being told how to do a certain job and instead of working out the disagreement, that person just stormed out over how to stack bread...
It seemed like a rough week everywhere, at work and in our parish. Everyone on edge. At times like these I have to remember and keep in mind that Satan loves to start things and then get in the middle of them. We know he likes nothing better than to see husband and wife, children and parents, friend and friend going at it. That seemed to be the theme last week. And some people don't realize when they're hurting someone. To walk out of a soup kitchen over bread, when your in the wrong, really upsets people, which I personally witnessed. I had to watch myself. I've been known to let folk have it when innocent people get trod on. All we can do in times like that is soldier on and pray, pray, pray. At our Secular Franciscan monthly meeting on Tuesday, the issue was brought up, but in a general way, nothing serious was touched upon. Everything just blows over and lets make nice. And how ironic; the theme of our meeting was forgiveness! I didn't say much, mostly because some of the older members really had excellent insights into our discussion and I basically had nothing to add. But I thought afterward, doesn't apologizing go along with forgiveness? If your wrong and hurt someone, do you wait for unwarranted forgiveness or do you apologize?

Like I said, I better keep my mouth shut.

Trust in God!

This is a reflection from today's reading in the book Medjugorje Day by Day, by Richard J. Beyer. This is about persevering in faith, and I just felt like sharing it with you.

A missionary named Noreen Towers had worked for years among the poor in Nigeria. In spite of all her efforts, she saw absolutely no progress. She says: "I became despondent. I finally reached the breaking point one night. . . I was beaten. When I went to bed, I didn't know how I could continue." The next morning, shortly after she awoke, something strange happened to Noreen. It was as though Jesus himself said to her, "Can you not trust my plan for you?" She writes:
Then I realized that I did not have to see the plan; I only had to trust him. I arose from my bed a different person. My encounter with the living Christ changed me from a broken, defeated person into a person with unshakable hope and faith.
Today, the woman's work among the poor is bearing remarkable fruit.
Like all virtues, perseverance is a gift of grace, yet Christ never fails to bestow it on those who ask. This is the primary challenge-to rely not on our own strength and endurance, but on the Lord's. It was summarized once in a small prayer: "O Lord, I can't. You can. Please."

This short story really made an impact on me this morning, maybe because I, and maybe we, are always trying to do everything on our own; I know I do. I frustrate myself to no end, trying to get this done, make that right, please everybody, be the hero. It's still hard for me, real hard, to give up control of my life to God on a day to day basis. On a Sunday, or on retreat, it becomes easier to do, or at least to talk about it. I've got to learn to give that same love back to our Lord in the way of loss of self, in dying to Our God.

Those words are still ringing in my head: "Can you not trust my plan for you?"

Watch out for you-know-who...

As I've always said, my job brings out the worst in me. Sometimes good things, but mostly its just a lot of temptations. And I know that's alright, God has put me here just for this, for my discipline, to combat all those temptations, but more important to show the Face of Jesus to my co-workers, to spread the Gospel by my words and my deeds.
Perfect example: I receive an e-mail from a fellow co-worker, asking me to perform a certain task, to find some paperwork on the shop floor and change some numbers. Fine. I can do that. Then I realize that I think she's the only one who can perform said task, it was decided during a long and boring meeting that took place a couple of months ago. She even took the minutes to this meeting. Whatever. I ask a fellow co-worker to confirm this fact of who can change the paperwork and immediately the backstabbing starts. So and so this and so and so knows this! CC the boss on this! So on and so forth, you get the idea. And part of me wants to join in on this tirade! With all my might I have to zip my lip because the old me wants to come out at times like this, join in the fun, heap on the slander, gossip, gossip, GOSSIP! My point is you-know-who is always there, always waiting for the slightest slip-up on our part, to jam the knife in just a little deeper. I saw him coming this time, I didn't join in, I just sort of graciously got out of the conversation and left, and told myself I'll handle this my own way.
He is real. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The further we go down the Road, the sweeter the walk, but also at times the darker the journey becomes. I know I have to stay vigilant at all times, I'm my own worse enemy. Just keep focused on the Cross.

Thoughts on a Marian retreat...

H and I and two others spent this past Saturday at the National Shrine of the Divine Mercy in Stockbridge, MA. A wonderful priest, very Marian, Fr. Anthony Gramlich gave a one day retreat on St. Louis De Montfort's book True Devotion to Mary. Two talks, lunch, confessions, Rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet, another talk, Benediction and then Mass. Whew! What a day. My wife and I have both consecrated to Mary, me just last year on the Feast of Guadeloupe, H for a few years now. I used 'My Ideal Jesus Son of Mary' by Fr. Emil Neubert, S.M. and was planning on using it again for my re-consecration, but after hearing direct quotes for De Montfort I think I'll use his book. Fr. Anthony really knew his stuff, and although a long day, it was very inspiring, very spiritual. My consecration last year was just another in a series of, I don't know, quiet inspired moments that found its way inside of me and stayed. Your hear about these devotional acts, then you read a bit on them and it's like a seed that's planted; once in there on fertile soil, things grow. After a while it all becomes a way of life, a good life that once lived one couldn't imagine living any other way. I remember hearing and reading about the total freedom that comes from giving oneself over completely to the Lord. I could not imagine that; I had no clue, no matter how many ways I thought about it. My conversion was still at its beginnings; God was talking but I couldn't understand him, not fully, not yet.

The more you give in, the more he brings you along.

St. Teresa!

Today, as we all know is the feast day of St. Teresa of Jesus. Her and St. Francis may be the two more modern-type Saints that I admire. And I say that only because of her writings, which are so inspirational and educational and Francis because, well he just is. The two common threads I have with these two great saints is that one can really feel that you know them after delving into their lives through books, movies and videos. St Teresa almost makes deep contemplative prayer seem easy, and I mean that as saying that her explanations are quite easy to follow. I just finished Interior Castles a month or two ago and there's so much to take in that the words have really stayed with me, sitting and percolating under the brow.

Thoughts on Odin

Today has been a day similar to four years ago when we left Odin in Steubenville for his first year in college. I must have cried for the first twenty miles as we headed back east. Back then I didn't know enough to lean on Our Lord for help. Today, although I feel, and know, and see the world around me with a different eye, and I know he's there to help me, I'd just as soon let the feelings of separation and sadness wash over me, flow thru me for a bit. Letting go like that, one gets that alive feeling, and for me it makes O's leaving for a year more bearable, in a way. Make any sense? This will be hard, I know, but I also know that in a week or so I'll sort of get used to him being gone, almost like back at school. And with the cell phone he's not that far away. But still...

Last night him and Celena bought pizza for us all for our anniversary. Josh was there, Celena's boy friend, (I think our future son-in-law, but maybe I'm wrong) and we all ate together as a family. After, Odin sat with us to do Evening Prayer, something he hasn't done at all for a while. All in all a really great night to be a dad.

Mixed feelings

I'm writing this post tonight with mixed feelings; tomorrow is our 25th wedding anniversary, 25 short years, to be honest, but also tomorrow our son Odin leaves for North Dakota for a 1 year mission trip. He'll be staying at St. Michael's Church in Dunseith, which is a small town almost at the Canadian border. Looking on the map tonight we noticed that Dunseith is almost as far north as Fort Kent, Maine, which is well up there. He'll be taking the train out of Hartford, CT tomorrow morning at 6:26, and should be arriving in Pittsburgh later in the day. He'll spend a couple of days with friends in Steubenville where he went to college, and then on to Chicago and then to ND. If we don't get up there to see him or he doesn't get home for a visit, one year is a real long time to not see your son. I can't imagine if he would be in harms way somewhere, overseas. I really can't fathom that. I'll try to pray all the more for people in those situations. He's been home since he graduated in May and just couldn't find a job in his field. So now he'll be staying with Father Jeff, doing whatever has to be done, and getting paid $100.00 a month. No money, but he won't really need any, and the experience is everything. I'll really, really miss him, though.

Well, after we drop O off at the train station I'm taking the day off (vacation day #14, 1 left) and H and I are going on a small pilgrimage right here in our own backyard, so to speak. Tomorrow is also the anniversary of the Miracle of the Sun at Fatima, and a friend of ours usually walks from his house in Stafford to St. Mary's Church in Hampden, MA, where there is a small shrine set up to honer Our Blessed Mother and the children. It's 13 miles one way, and Neil walks to and from, reciting the rosary the whole way. He told us he says about 200 decades on the trip. Neil is in his 60's and not that physically fit. Helen saw him last year, walking along the road, hair blowing crazy in the wind. She stopped and asked if he wanted a ride and that's when we found out about his solitary Walk to Mary. We decided this year to join him but at the last second he couldn't get the day off from work. So I think we're going anyway, just the two of us. Rain in the morning, maybe we'll wait until after lunch, we'll see. I'm really looking forward to it and Helen, well, like she says, "You decide," so I did. We go.

Right now I'm up waiting for our daughter to return home from driving a friend of hers back to Plymouth St in New Hampshire. Three hours up, three back. She should be here around 1:00am. I wasn't too happy with this decision of hers, but I probably also would have done it for a friend, and H would have, too. So here I sit, writing an overlong post. Sorry about that. If you stopped reading this long ago, I don't blame you. Peace to you all.

Last thoughts (for tonight!) on profession

More on profession.

I just want to say that today I did feel different, but not in any way that was feeling different, if you know what I mean. Friends asked me today, "So, do you feel any different," and I had to answer, no, not really, but the difference I did feel was a more subtle presence of, I guess maybe the Holy Spirit in me, or something that I'm labeling as such. It was like as I went along just doing what I do at work and God kept giving me these little insights into things, insights into just the everyday stuff that happens to people. But today these mundane type of events felt more real, or maybe the word is more realized in a new light. I don't know, I can't really explain. I do know that I felt much more at ease with myself than yesterday, when I didn't know what would happen. Would I burst into tears up there in front of everyone? Or worse, would I get a leg cramp? (That was more likely.) Neither happened, and I thank our Blessed Mother for that. Mary, please be with me right now, help me to not embarrasse my family! And she did.

Following Francis...

Last night at a special Mass, Joe & Sandy, Loraine, Barbara and Helen and myself professed to spend the rest of our lives living Gospel to Life and Life to Gospel. Fr. R presided and Fr. T assisted. It was, beautiful. The Rite of Profession is done right after the Homily, and Fr. R spoke well. He spoke not only to us, but to everyone in the congregation, reminding us all that God is not done with us yet. I was so glad that my brother and sister were there to hear those words. I just started to write something that I shouldn't, I was being judgemental and I want to stop that NOW. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law also came, my parents and our son and daughter. What a crowd, just for us! The Lord brought great joy to St. Edward Church last night. I so wished that one or both of H's sisters would have come, but no, no one showed. She didn't seem to mind, but I'm sure it bothered her just a little.
I wore my newly made brown vest sewn together by H. It is beautiful! I have no idea where she found the time to do it, but there it was, hanging in the closet two days ago with a card. She really takes good care of me. More on profession later...

Profession

Tonight, at a 7:00pm Mass, my wife Helen, myself and four others will, God willing, continue our journey as candidates by professing ourselves to the Secular Franciscan Order. Pray for us as we pray for you!

First Friday Mass

The Lord raised up the lowly one and exalted
him to the ends of the earth

Ant. 3, Morning Prayer, Oct. 4Th

Sometimes I get, well, not overly excited, but when the Lord does great things for me, I must praise Him. This past Friday was an off day at work for us, since the economic upturn hasn't completely caught up to our company's downturn yet, so we still have a four day week every other week. But no matter. I'm able to go to morning Mass, and this week it was also First Friday, which meant 9:00am Mass instead of 7:30. Plus, the kids were there from the school, which is always good to see. Found out during Fr. R Homily that the children are saying at least one decade of the Rosary every morning in the parking lot during this month, the month of the rosary. I say, Excellent! Start them young and then it becomes a part of their life. Father also spoke of the Guardian Angels, whose feast day it was on Friday. And then of course about St. Francis, and how he so loved Our Lord, and the Cross and all of creation. A great homily, spoken straight from the heart. H and I felt the call to climb the stairs to the choir and help our organist, Lida with vocal chores. I love to see the kids heads turn around and look up when they hear H belt it out. I love to sing with my wife! She helps me to sound ok. So, considering I wasn't amking any money, it was still a beautiful morning. Oh, yeah, plus rosary with the Rosary Women. I love doing that. Peace.

The next few days...

This has been an exciting few days for me. Last Tuesday, the 22ND was mine and H's last fraternity meeting as candidates. These last 2 1/2 years have been at times a struggle, but mostly filled with exhilarating moments, especially during our round-robin segments and ongoing formation discussions. I never knew just how deeply God has worked his way into my soul, the me of me. Many times I've had to stop with my presentation just because I let my emotions get the best of me. At 54 I'm still one of the youngest members, and I think sometimes the enthusiasm of H and myself can scare people. I'm hoping our Brothers and Sisters will grow to understand us a bit more. We're coming in next Wednesday and we're coming in for life! I invited my Mom and Dad, my brother and sister and there families, but we'll see who shows. At first I think they thought us joining the Seculars was a type of novelty idea on our part, something that was going to either wear off or not amount to much. I'm thinking they all looked into it a realized who the S.F. are and what the commitment is, and I think they all accept our choices. I hope so, but if not, so be it.
And this Saturday is the Transitus of St. Francis. 783 years ago on Oct. 3rd Francis flew from this earth. We are so lucky to have 3 Franciscan priests at our parish, and every year they have a nice service that evening. Other Friars and Sisters come from around the area, especially from Chicopee MA. We, the Seculars, will have a little something set up in the church hall for after the service. For a follower of St. Francis, this is a great time. I have to admit, Franciscan priests are a different lot. Some go by the letter of the law, so to speak, others, the spirit of the law, and the differences can be seen especially in the way they dress, when they're not working, so to speak. Cutoffs or jeans, tight tee shirts, lots of tattoos (Yes! Yikes!), almost anything goes in the spirit of St. Francis. I realize now that I'm more of a traditionalist. I guess maybe because I was somewhat wilder in my youth I feel closer to the more prayerful spirit of Francis and the Church. I think also, for me, there is never enough time for quiet prayer, or maybe not enough time to do nothing. When one does nothing, that leaves a lot of time for prayer.

Word loss for sure

If this is Friday, then it's a fast day. I don't want to spend a lot of words on this gift that God has given me, but I think now that the more I find it difficult to fast twice a week the more I pray about it and then the more I understand the whole gift. Get it? If it was easy for me I probably wouldn't get anything out of it. After all these years fasting still leaves me feeling, I don't know, more prayerful perhaps for lack of a better word. This is a poor attempt to describe a feeling that I can't even describe to myself. Failure!

The unexpected gift...

First, as you can see, I've changed some colors on the blog. I grew tired of the black, and it was beginning to make me uneasy, in a way. And I've come to love the browns and greys of the Franciscans, and, God willing, Oct. 7Th H and I will be professing together into the Seculars. A big day. As the time comes nearer I can sense an attitude adjustment taking place, believe me, with no will of my own. It can only be the Holy Spirit at work. I thought months ago I was ready then to profess and I was, but not in the same way I am now. The excitement of something new has passed; now the idea of the long haul has settled in and it is good. I know this is the right thing. But as all things that have to do with Our Lord God, as one door opens and you pass thru another appears, and you pray and pass thru into something different, and then the Spirit gets a hold of you and points you yet again. To me, that is part of the freedom of living with Christ, laying all your prayers, hopes, dreams, humbleness, humility at His feet, at His altar, at Himself, and letting go. When we can do that the eyes open, the heart is freed, the mind is tuned to Him. These are the small changes in my life that I try to do every day, to open my eyes, to free my heart. Some days the journey is smooth. Most days the road is rough. My job is a rough road at times, and I fail miserably at bring Jesus to the forefront there. That's usually my biggest regret at the end of the day; my failure to proclaim him to my brothers and sisters as I should. This last bit of a revelation came to me in the last 15 minutes or so of this afternoons Adoration, after Our Lord had lulled me into a strange state of, well, not prayer, and not sleeping, really, but it seemed I was in a tranquil state and then alert, tranquil state and then alert until the last few minutes when all the thoughts of the failures and how Francis must have felt when he chastised himself, when opportunities were missed even by him, moments lost by me. Every once in a while we're given a small insight by God, and I know I've missed 99% of them given me, but I think I felt a small one this afternoon. It was a small unexpected gift, a simple yet beautiful flower from a friend.

Monday Evening Rosary - aftermath

Just want to say that Monday evening rosary, The Sorrowful Mysteries, were beautiful. Just three of us, but a perfect way to end the day.

Just a note on last night. My old self reared its' ugly head yesterday, I hope only the product of a long weekend doing 'stuff' contrary to my normal living. Probably too much time at the fair, seeing too many people, which, in and of itself is not bad, but at times I can't handle it too well anymore. Come last Sunday that was my situation. I needed quiet time and I couldn't find it and instead of seeing the situation as it was and getting through the day praising God for giving me difficulties, I failed completely, feeling sorry for myself, and taking some of it out on H. I read a great quote recently but I'm afraid I don't know where or who from. It goes like this; "No matter if he is playing, working, eating, talking having fun or even sleeping, he is in prayer." I'll figure out who said it and where its from, but these are truly words to live by. Well, that was my failure, not staying in prayer most of the time this weekend. So this evening I really needed the time in church and the calming effects of Our Mother and the Rosary. Thank you Rosary folk and Praise God!

Evening Rosary

Today is the third Monday of the month, so that means Evening Rosary at our church. Two Mondays' ago it was Labor Day, and I really didn't expect anyone to show up but I was hoping, but at 7:00pm it was only H and I. Which really doesn't matter to me. I'm there to start the rosary at 7:00 and to make sure the doors get locked when we're done. God provides the rest. But I do have to say, with the westering light flowing through the stained glass just as we begin, and only a few lights on inside the church, with the heavy silence broken only by our voices in chant-like unison, St. Edward Church is a beautiful place to be on a Monday evening, whether it's only me, or H and myself or 6 or 8 others. It's a nice place to be.

Come and join us.

Over-done at the Big E

Today H and I, our son, our daughter, her boyfriend, (good kid), H's two sisters and a niece went up to New England's great fair, The Big E. And it was good, for most of the day. Everyone got along just fine, we shared food, (although being Friday, H and I were fasting, sort of. More on that later.) saw a lot of stuff and enjoyed each other's company. But by the time late afternoon rolled around, I'd had enough. Too many people, too much noise, too much of the world I'm trying to leave behind pressing in all around me. H felt the same. For those 4 or 5 hours that this Fair had pushed itself into my consciousness I had lost track of God a little bit. He wasn't first and foremost in my mind, or on my lips or in my heart. Once we decided we'd had enough we couldn't get out of there fast enough. On the way back to CT H read a bit from The Fatima Crusader which calmed us down a bit. It was just too much being back into that world of bright lights, entertainment and random buying of stuff one really doesn't need. I'm not coming down on fairs. I really do love them, and I have to spend most of tomorrow and part of Sunday (oh, no! not Sunday!) at our local Four Town fair. I guess I really only like a fair in little doses and not when I let all the fun drive out Our Lord and Savior.

About that fast...

Today, being Friday is a fast day for H and myself. Wednesdays and Fridays are the days our Blessed Mother asks us to fast, so we do, bread and water. Been a few years now, no big deal. H is much better than me, I drink coffee during the day at work, sometimes have a couple of crackers, maybe a pretzel or two. It's extremely hard for me to fast the way I believe the B. M. intends, asks us to. H, on the other hand is rock solid, and although she speaks to me of temptations on her fast days she hardly ever wavers. Well, today is a fast day and we're going to The Big E! If you've never been there let me say this; lots of food booths of every kind. And the aromas! Not a good place to be on a fast day. Anyway, today September 18 the readings from the red book entitled Proper Offices of Franciscan Saints and Blessed were for Joseph of Cupertino, Franciscan priest of the Order of Friars Minor Conventual. It was also a Franciscan Feast day, which H and I usually celebrate as a feast, namely by not fasting. Which was fine, and we planned on feasting today, no problem, until there, in our daily reading in Medjugorje, Day By Day, for today the 18Th of Sept. Our Lady tells us: Observe the complete fasts, Wednesdays and Fridays. Pray at least the full rosary, the Joyful, Sorrowful, and the Glorious Mysteries. Well, the feast was put aside, and we gave up what probably would have been an afternoon of over doing it anyway to a day of ignoring the smells and avoiding the sights and for us to just nibble on the crackers that H brought. We did share clam fritters with everyone, but we somehow justified having them by saying they were mostly dough, which they were.

A day of fun at the fair is behind us, Bless the Lord.

After 4:00 Mass this afternoon we had our Knights of Columbus Officers Installation Ceremony. I think at final count we had five Brother Knights who didn't show, two of which had told me that they couldn't make it, they would be out of town. No problem, your still an Officer. Our District Deputy was the man in charge, and he did a great job. I really like him a lot, and look forward to working with him when I have to. Three of our wives were there also, and they actually adorned us with the jewels. Fr. R. was there and participated, and I think he knows or can feel the urgency and high expectations that this new leadership brings. I don't know. I'm not a born leader, at all. I have to get all of my Grand Knight leadership skills from our Lord, literally. As I stood in front of our District Deputy as he read to us the moving passages of the K of C installation ceremony, I prayed. Prayed that I could do the job my Brothers elected me for, to lead them and to help them to accomplish our goals in the name of Our Lord and God. H thought I was getting ready to faint, but that was the farthest thing from my mind. Just standing before the altar, with the huge Franciscan Cross hanging before me I have to admit I thought of Francis and the awesome responsibility that he took on for his Brothers and our church. And at the same time I felt, well, not love, really, but the good vibes that were all around us in the church. I'm so glad that we had the installation in the church, after Mass. I was the right choice.
This has been a soul-moving week for me. I use soul-moving for lack of a better word, as I don't think eye-opening works here. Adoration, prayer with H everyday, Mass this morning and this afternoon, private gifts from above for my interior journey, how can I complain about anything? But I still do! I'm an A_ _! Lord, smack me and punish me for such stupid thoughts! Bless He Who Reigns Above Forever!

Thorns and Adoration! Rejoice!

Friday morning, and I don't know if I'm still feeling the after-effects, (so to speak), of yesterdays' hour of Adoration, but, well, some days everything is more clearer than others. Ever have a day like that? Today is one for me. Thursdays' Adoration was the first of the Fall through Spring schedule that our Parish follows, 12:00 noon until 7:30pm. I am there from 5-6. As soon as I entered the Church I could feel Him, and He lead me and opened me for an hour to just plain peace and enlightenment (for lack of better words. I'm at work, so I'm rushing this post!). And then this morning, during Morning Prayer with H, the Reading, 2 Corinthians 12, the thorn in my side and My grace is sufficient for you, brought about (again!) an intoxicating feeling of humility in me. It's hard for me to read these passages, I can almost hear Paul's voice, even though he probably never actually read this letter to anyone, instead being read by millions of faithful through the years. Today, Paul slapped me a little harder than usual. It could be because of trials going on in my life right now, even though small to most still loom as obstacles to contend with to me. This reading, combined with Adoration reminded me that trials are given to us to celebrate, to gain strength and to keep us on the right road.

Evening Prayer

Tonight, as every Wed. at 7:00pm we have Evening Prayer at our church with our fellow Secular Franciscans. I was asked to be the antiphonerian, which i love because I just happen to really love the pauses between each segment. (I don't know the proper name.) The pause after saying the antiphon for the second time and before saying the next one gives the prayer a special magic to it, as if it needed any more magic. I especially liked the Reading, Ephesians 3: 17-21, the first line; May Christ dwell in you hearts through faith, and may charity be the root and foundation of your life. I don't remember that line before, and I don't ever remember it smacking me between the eyes. But between the light through the stain glass windows, the reading, the timbre of the Evening Prayer, I just didn't want it to end.

A change of view

Back on-line after a long delay. Our PC was down but now up and running again, and I'm going to try to post every night, if possible. Be patient with me, I'm slow and stupid at formulating myself lately, and most of the time I only wish to read others' blogs and not write in my own. But we'll see...

A Step Back

I have to admit, these last few weeks have been, for me, a muddle. July and August are very busy for us, with running off almost every weekend to do a changeover at Lavarehouse, then this, and then that, well, you get the idea. I know I'm complaining and I have NOTHING to complain about, so I'll stop complaining and get to the point. I have a hard time merging my secular life and my spiritual life together. Does that make any sense? I see so many people who, to me, have no problem with it. Lately, with all the stuff that goes on (in my life) the Holy Spirit, God, everything seems to be pushed back, far away, almost like, and I know this will sound weird, but all my spirituality is stuck behind my forehead! My head is filled to the brim with my God, my personal Holy Spirit but their stuck inside me, they can't get out. That's how it's felt the last few weeks. Different events in our lives have, I'll admit, tested us, H especially, but I let the world of people bother me too much and I can't break out of that human thinking mode, I've got to get myself back into seeing and thinking through Jesus' eyes, the Eyes of God. Man, I hate that in myself! Well, I don't hate it, but you know what I mean. I comes down to the Gospel theme lately of Loving Thy Neighbor. It's easy when everything is fine, it's another story when road rage fills you or somebody you know and love stomps all over somebody else you know and love. It's at those times that I now realize that I have to bring myself to the Foot of the Cross. To beg Our Lord for that guidance, that grace to see and love my neighbor as I should. Lately, I've hit a wall with my actions, I've subconsciously thought that I can deal with things on my own. I know I can't deal with issues that are like monkey wrenches in my life. I myself, alone have no patience for any of it. You hear people say you have to give it up to Our Lord, use Our Mother, talk to her, ask for her intersession, but until you really see the need, with your interior eye, you'll never ask.
Last evening, in the heat of the Church, during Rosary, the Sorrowful Mysteries, some things came together. I was forced back a step, not by me, but by, I believe, the Virgin Mother. Slow down, child, your way too wound up. Listen to the prayers your saying, don't just say them! I felt those words in my heart, last night, but I didn't realize it until this morning, during my ride to work and my morning Rosary. A gift of remembrance, a light for me to see by. I still don't know what has changed but for now life isn't so so muddled as before. Issues still exist but for now my heart is filled...

Fr. Vincent

"If you wish God to forgive you your offenses against God, forgive your enemies what they have done to injure you. At the very instant when you forgive your enemy, God will forgive you." St. Vincent Ferrer



Wow. Something about that little quote from that great saint just opened my eyes this morning. As followers of Our Lord Jesus Christ we and forgiveness are bound at the hip; the act of forgiving is part of our life force, just as important as love thy neighbor. Forgiveness and Love Thy Neighbor go hand in hand, and I'm afraid I've been guilty of not praying more about them. I can still feel parts of my old self at times when I don't love my neighbor, for whatever reason, and it angers me. I say praying more about them because for me, in prayer, in quiet contemplation over an issue, a problem, whatever, through prayer I seem to get closer to an answer. It usually doesn't happen right away. but slowly, like a night fading to morning. I need to be more vigilant.



But back to Saint Vincent.



As soon as I read his quote today I thought of a friend of mine, a priest who was once at our church. Franciscan through and through, and very Marian. He helped open my heart and mind in the short time I knew him and I'll always be thankful to him for that. He loved to come to our home and say the Rosary on the porch in the evening. He even said a Mass there on the night he blessed the house. They moved him from CT to Florida because of his command of the Spanish language, so now he gives Mass in Spanish and it's wonderful to hear. Gee, do I miss that man, that Brother.



And, of yeah, his name is Fr. Vincent.

Sometimes I just want to post, but I really don't have anything worldly to say. Nothing heavy, or uplifting, nothing controversial or spiritual, nothing in the vein of what I think my blog should be.

Who cares.

It's summertime, and I'm taking a vacation from all that!

Last Friday, the 7Th, on my untimely lack of work day off, I decided to take back our garden. Take it back from the choking weeds that I haven't gotten to all summer. It was probably too hot to be out there all day but I didn't mind. It was really good to be out there, in the quiet 0f the mid-day. It was prayerful, silent and physical all at the same time. H came out every once in a while to pick raspberries and check on me. She found a zucchini squash hidden in the weeds and leaves, good for a bread. Lately, running up to the Vineyard every weekend can turn from exciting at the beginning of summer to a drag as the summer wears on. That said, its still a great place once we get there and drop our bags in the Little House. But last Friday I was just enjoying a long, beautiful summer day, the kind of day one needs to clear the mind. The next day, early, 5:00am-6:00am we had our turn keeping company with the Holy Eucharist during Nocturnal Adoration. I'll admit I was distracted and somewhat tired, and my conversation with Our Lord was interrupted more than once by daydreams and such. I feel so bad after, like I wasted a good opportunity by being not prepared. Something I must live with and try to move on from...

A glimpse of Our Lord at work...

Last night we had our monthly K of C meeting, my second as Grand Knight. I felt much more at ease with my position than last month, when I was truly a fish out of water. I did get all the way to the church hall before realizing that I'd forgotten the tackle box (yup, that's what it is!) that contains our officers medals that we wear, well, sometimes wear, and the gavel, home. Too late to go back. Since it was our August meeting, a meeting that we sometimes don't even have, I wasn't too worried about not having the box. I did have to use my hand to pound on the table at the correct times, though. And I did think of Nikita Krueschev(?) back in the day pounding on the table at the United Nations with his shoe. And I really was concentrating on the meeting, really!
All went well, and we finally, I hope got past the issues of the maligned election we had back in June. To make a long sad story short, one member accused another of bad election practices. A letter went out to Supreme. Last night our District Deputy dealt with it in a very professional and timely fashion, end of case. Well, bitterness and anger tried raising it's ugly head after the D.D. had explained and we had straightened out our issues. I was able to cut the conversation off quickly, and in the vacuum left by that say my piece on the matter, which was we are Catholic men, Knights of Columbus and followers of Jesus Christ the Risen Lord. Their will be no witch hunt under my Council. Supreme decided that the matter was closed, and so did I. Done deal, now we move on to do Gods Work. (I almost said if you want to pursue the matter, take it up in the parking lot, but I didn't.) After that we got down to some business, but it's hard with only 13 members there. But all in all, a good meeting.
I learn about myself at these meetings. I know it's because I've never been in this position before and I think my Brother Knights look up to the Grand Knight for leadership, whoever the GK is, and now it just happens to be me. At every turn during the meeting I'm sub-consciously asking Our Lord for guidance, because I most certainly couldn't be doing any of it on my own. I realize I'm learning to ask, to ask him for help in this decision, in that action. I'm only realizing now that it is all a lesson in humility, in humbleness. These actions are bringing me closer to Him, I'm seeing that now. Humbling oneself is very comforting, in a way. Now I can't wait for the next meeting, instead of dreading it. Praise and love God forever!

Another Friday fast...

Our Blessed Virgin Mother calls us, through the visionaries at Medjugorje to "Love, pray and fast." Pretty simple, right? Not so simple. Never simple. After the excitement of discovering the revelations of Our Lady at M. and the beginning of the fasting process, the life of fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays, week in and week out, trying to stay focused on the purpose of it all, well, at times it can be difficult. Harsher words than difficult come to mind but I'll refrain. The difficulty has nothing to do with Our Mother, fasting, the bread and water she asks for or even the number of times a week that's involved. It is me. Inside me. The place where the true battles rage on, even on the good days when things are falling into place, those interior battles rage on. Over the years I've tried different ways of 'living' on those days, but none of my approaches seem to last, seem to be able to comfort me as I get through the day. Some may find comfort in a fast day. I think (big word there, think) I'm coming to the realization that my 'comfort' is in my struggle, that in fasting twice a week I'm given a subtle reminder of what is what and who is who. Remember your priorities, k. Your mind doesn't drift too often, but here is a way to stay focused. Here is help from the ancient days. Here is help from Above. Use it.

Summer Fraternity Picnic

Our Secular Franciscan Order had our summer picnic this past Tuesday evening next to a picturesque lake in southern Ma. This is our (my wife and I) third picnic with the Seculars and it really does feel homey. The main dish is grinders, the long ones cut into holdable sizes, and at the end of a long day they sure taste good. H and I never get grinders from take-out, we'll make our own first if we're craving them, so that in itself was a treat. Franciscan style, everybody brings a little something but no one knows what anybody else is bringing. So if we had grinders and 12 plates of brownies, so be it. When Francis and the Brothers went begging each had a large wooden bowl and all the food went into it and at the end of the day all the Brothers sat together and feasted on whatever came back in the bowls. No one knew what they would have at the end of the day, but whatever it was they praised and thanked God for the gift. Such humbleness to Our Lord!
We had only one tray of brownies.
H made a raspberry pie, with berries picked fresh that afternoon. Into the big brown bowl! A big hit with everyone. After the meal, Evening Prayer. For me, an especially moving E.P., with the reading from John just stopping me in my tracks. Today, only the fragrance of the reading is left with me, although I've been meaning to return to it. Something for later...
The Friars left after we sang the first of many old-timey songs, the same ones we always sing. R loves them, so we sing them. After a while more spiritual songs were requested, which we complied with, although on some we were a little rusty. All in all a good evening of coming together as a family, feasting, praying and singing together. Oh yeah, The Divine Mercy was said on the way to the lake by the 4 of us in the car. God is good!

Non-Blogging

It has been a while since I've posted, and although a lot has happened, I've come to an impasse as to whether any of it is worth blogging about. My life just isn't exciting enough to warrant constant blogging. I'm boring!

Well, I'm writing now, that means something... Plenty of great things have happened since June 23, and I'm finally formulating them in my mind, which is a good thing. I seem to go through periods of non-speak, or better yet non-blog. Maybe I'm coming out of that now.