Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What His weather brings...

We're hunkered down here in CT, waiting on the wind and the line of thunderstorms that are aimed this way.  I'm sure the power will go out soon, it always does lately when the weather storms.  No matter.  I have good holy candles ready to go, my books are at hand and my rosary waits.  God is good in all that He does, be it weather, joy, sadness, ill health, whatever.  I'm at the point right now anyway, that the secular world can just go away, I don't care what happens to it.  As a human race the things we say and do, here and around the globe is deeply disturbing.  The people who do not fear God are so numerous and their actions so, so, I can't even find an appropriate word to use here.  I wish I could just say I don't understand it all and be content with that, then I could just ignore the world and stay in my own little shell.  I'm trying to stay in my shell, but I just can't seem to ignore the world.  It's just that as the years go by, as I do not reject God but try to embrace Him, more and more I'm able to see the hand of satan in all of this.  It is satan against God, as clear as day.  Evil running rampant and the Good just waiting, quietly.  We are here, Lord, and I know You hear us but perhaps the test is on, I don't know.  It's impossible to say, but we who are watching see the hand of darkness as he pushes forward more and more.  And You, God?  I will not question God.  I will fear the Lord, my God, and hope for wisdom.
  Wisdom.  Give me wisdom!  Please, Lord just a thimble full of spiritual wisdom, to quench my appetite for you, you whom I crave.  At times I feel as if I've not gone anywhere on this road, or I walked a circle and returned to the beginning of myself.  It's not that I have, but my longing is still so there, so very strong that it is unquenchable.  We have just recently began teaching CCD at our parish, H 1st grade and me 7th.  I have never taught anyone anything in my whole life.  I have not a clue as to what I am doing.  Just follow the book.  Ok.  Unfortunately there is no way to get all the lessons for one Sunday into 50 minutes.  Especially when I veer off to incorporate my own ideas. (Yikes!)  After only two classes I can see that there is always room for good Catholic Tradition, and I love to give that to them.  I only have 5 youths, but that is enough for me.  Each time I go I'm scared to death, but I feel so good after, even though I have no idea if anyone learned anything or not.  But God is good, in season and out of season, when I'm making sense and when I'm not.  He even gave me words to share this stormy evening.  And occasional wisdom to share with the kids.

  The line of storms is almost here, so I'll finish this up.  Lord, watch over the homeless tonight, and all the men and women who must go out to assist our fellow man.  And stay close to me tonight, our Saviour Jesus, as I speak with our Mother through the Rosary.  

May god give us His rest.