The Small Lesson.

It takes me about 40-45 minutes to get to work in the morning.  The drive is mostly back roads, country roads really, here in CT, and I drive slow.  I pray my second Rosary, then listen to some chant or whatever is shuffling around in my old I-pod.  Always very uneventful.  Lately though, the past few months, on and off, you might say, I've been troubled.  Many things have been happening in my life, neither good nor bad, (but I only realize that now, the good or bad part), just things, events, happenings, whatever.  I guess I've mostly looked at all of this in a negative light, but not in a real alarming way, mostly just in the vein of a big sigh and an 'Oh well...'  This way of looking at things will wear a man down and place him far from where he should be, which is in line with God.  The problem is, as fallen beings, it becomes easy to look at things that way, from a purely man-centered way.  One finds themselves in these situations and try to get themselves out, to lift themselves up but use only themselves as the way and the means.  God is not forgotten about, usually, but let's say He's put off to the side.  Our pride says 'I can handle this, just watch, just give me a minute.'   What I'm trying to say is God is in control.  Oh really, you might say, tell me something I don't know.  Which is true, nothing earth-shattering or new about that.  But do we really think about it, contemplate it or pray about it?  I don't.  I just haven't, not in the way one should.  Now this whole bit of thought came about because I put a certain situation into the hands of the Blessed Mother, saying 'I leave this to you, you know best.'  And She does, because She does God's Will.  And then the answer came and the situation was resolved, pretty much but for some reason everything lingered in my mind, not like unanswered questions but a picture put before me by perhaps our Mother, saying, 'See, this is how it is.  You pray, you ask sincerely, and if it is in your best interest, determined by God, things happen.  But you must do your part.  You must accept what God gives you, because everything comes from God, the good and the bad, praising God and thanking Him for your lot in life.'  The good and the bad.  I thought about that, my health issues, my physical woes, my being overwhelmed at times by life itself, to be thankful and rejoice in all of this because each and everything that flows to me is from Him.  Thoughts came flashing back from books, talks whatever, saying the same thing but for whatever reason these words never stuck.  Heard and forgotten.  But today was different, for some reason.  Perhaps the state of the world, the darkness that is out there that has infested almost all walks of life, has started to wear down even my optimistic attitude, perhaps this ray of light this morning pierced through that dust of satan just enough to make a difference, I don't know.  But I was able to see more clearly, for those few moments, a small bit of His Plan that made perfect sense to me.  Tonight, as I finish writing this, my mind tired and worn out from another day, the sharpness of the revelation is gone, leaving me with only a sweet memory and a lesson I hopefully won't soon forget.          

She lingers...

The Marian Retreat in Ridgefield is almost a week gone but the effects are still lingering.  Our Mother is a powerful intercessor, more than I ever realized, and made most interesting by learning how and why God gave her so many graces.  Mary, like Her Son, helps to draw us to Heaven by helping us stay focused.  Not an easy thing to do in this world.  A week-long silent retreat helps to get one's head back on, maybe not completely straight, but back on and looking in the proper direction.

Paths

The house is quiet, as this Lent has been quiet.  It is Saturday and again the weather does not co-operate with my plans, but, they are my plans, not the Lords.  I had hoped, as I always do, for a sunny and dry Saturday, in order for me to get my outdoor chores done.  It doesn't usually happen. Life is, it goes on around me and without me and when I'm here, home on the weekend I just try to get into the flow, so to speak.  Today, with the still foot and a half of snow pack on the ground and the rain coming down, the house is quiet.  I have puttered in the basement, gluing an old chair, donned a coat and boots for a trip around the yard, down the paths that have been cut by the snow blower.  This winter has been like that, dark, with small paths cut here and there through to let in the light.  There has been sadness this winter, on many levels and for many different reasons.  Changes in my physical self, surgery on my hands has pretty much laid me up since mid-January.  Many thanks to my wife and son who held down the fort with shoveling and snow blowing during this time.  It was not easy to just sit back and let them do it all.  Not in my nature. I try to take charge of some things, things around the house but in hindsight I'm afraid I've not given proper thanks where even that is due.  Yes, it has been a long and mostly dark winter and I've had to change course and re-evaluate where the Lord has lead me.  Even that comes into question, how much has He lead and how much have I put myself first and before Him?  In these days it is very hard at times to tell.  

  How the wind howls!  These last days of winter are cold and almost numbing to the soul.  I can't help but remember back when I was with the Secular Franciscans and after Easter we would talk about our Lent, as people do and I can remember people saying "Oh I had a great Lent!  Very spiritual!  Very moving!"  Mine was never like that, it usually, from what I can remember, was uneventful.  No revelations, no real joy.  Why was this?  I don't know.  Had I offended God, and grace was withheld?  Perhaps, but probably not.  It was more likely there was just too much me in the way, too much searching for me and not God.  Oh the patience of God, He is so incomprehensible!  Just to think that He will wait for me forever and I can't even concentrate on a Mystery for five minutes.  Gosh...  Yes for me Lent is a chore, my body rejects it even as my soul yearns for it. In confession a few weeks back I confessed to the priest that I was complaining too much about the pain in my hand from the first surgery and he said that I was blessed to have this pain now, during Lent to remind me of the nails piercing through the hands of our Lord.  Contemplate on that!  Pray about that pain!  Keep that vision front and center while you pray the Rosary!  Needless to say his words struck me deep, and I was angry with myself for not seeing that grace myself.  I wish I could say that my penance has been successful but alas, it has not, not even 50% of the time.  I am what I am, a worm and nothing more...

  Those paths through the snow, cut to keep life flowing when God's elements press in.  They press in with the physical and the mental, and also the spiritual.  If it weren't for the paths the toll would be far worse. It has been a long winter and dark, and even with the coming of Spring some darkness will remain.  The physical darkness, yes, but that will heal with time and if not, so be it.  I am not in charge of anything, that I know, although I must be reminded constantly. Friendships have been strained and darkness has filtered in where once shown only the light of joy.  True sadness there, and I must work to rectify that.  I will be honest, I don't know how these things, relationships between friends work.  I've never had one that has lasted forever-like, except with my wife.  I know there are good men out there but sometimes even good men don't see eye to eye.  It is hard, with the pulling of the world, tossing us from one tempest to another and even with Jesus in the boat he can't help us if we don't listen.  I go back to the same plea that I've offered to God before, Father, slow me down a bit so I can speak with you more often.  And if you hear me speaking sincerely, perhaps you will whisper something to me.  Perhaps a glance to my soul. And if not, so be it.  

  I started this post last Saturday and am just finishing it now, on the eve of the feast of St. Joseph.  He is the Saint and protector of so many things!  For me, I think of him most as the foster father of our Lord.  How God gave him the task of protecting the Son of God and our Holy Mother!  My confirmation name is Joseph, and right now, tonight, he is on my mind.  Help me, oh mighty saint, to be a better father, husband and protector of my family.  How to be a better Catholic man and to show charity and friendship to others.  How to put myself into the hands of our Lord Jesus and my Seraphic Father Francis, to follow the true humility shown by our Lord and practiced to the fullest by Francis.  Help me, St. Joseph to open my eyes, to heed the call and plead, to cry out to come closer to God.              

Desecration.

I just saw the video and read the article on the gigantic outdoor Mass in the Philippines and the distribution of Holy Communion.  I stopped receiving in the hand about 6 or 7 years ago, I really cannot remember.  I do not attend N.O. Masses, and lately I even try to stay away from churches that have the N.O.  I will not take the chance of stepping on even the smallest particle of our Lord.  I know all the zaniness that goes with some of these Masses but the passing of the Sacred Host from hand to hand to the back of the throng is UNACCEPTABLE!!! The Pope, the Vatican, everybody involved in this fiasco should learn a fast hard lesson and the only answer is NO MORE DISTRIBUTING OF COMMUNION AT THESE MASSES.  There is absolutely no justification that I can think of to allow this to happen. 'The people come and they want to receive our Lord.'  Just tell them that it is not possible in this setting.  We cannot have our Lord falling onto the ground and into the mud of Manila!!!!!!!!  I'm saddened to the depths of my soul for Holy Mother Church.  This really is too much.  Stupid people dancing in the aisles, loud folk/rock music, bad unintelligible sermons, etc, I try not to comment on that 'stuff'. But horrible Communion distribution, I cannot be quiet.  
   

Pray for Her, our Holy Church, and plead for intercession from Heaven.  

The Poverty of the Blessed Virgin.

(from) Ark of the Covenant, by Rev. Thomas S. Preston


   Our blessed Lord Jesus Christ has given us a perfect example of poverty and contempt of the world.  Having condescended to take our nature, He chose to be in a lowly and humble position.  For our sakes He chose to be "made poor, that we through His poverty might be made rich."  He could have enjoyed all the wealth of the world, and all its luxuriance might have rolled at His feet.  He could have been born in a palace with thousands to wait upon His every want.  But the gifts of earth did not become the humility of the incarnate God.  He saw the emptiness of human things and He would not touch any of the gilded vanities which so attract mankind.  It was His will to be driven out of the habitations of men, and to have no place where to lay His head.  He preferred a cave for His birth-place, and the oxen's stall for His cradle.  His holy Mother, whose heart was one with His, took part in His self-abnegation.  The world was nothing to her, and all its riches could not excite one emotion in her soul.  She gave all she had to the poor, that for the service of God she might be emancipated from every care.  The fathers tell us that in her early childhood she made a vow never to possess any of the goods of this earth.  "Where our treasure is there also is our heart."  She desired to have no treasure here, that her heart might be wholly united to God.  It was, therefore, no trial to her to bear the pains and inconveniences of poverty.  The cave of Bethlehem was a sweet hiding place where she could prove to her child that she loved nothing but Him.  The Magi brought their costly gifts, and they were devoted to charity.  She went before the altar with two turtle-doves, the offering of the poor, and knelt among the crowd.  The angel called her at midnight to arise in haste and fly to Egypt.  She arose at once, leaving all she had, and began her long and painful journey.  Many a time she felt the pangs of hunger and thirst in her pilgrimage through the desert, and during her lonely sojourn in the land of idolatry.  Her food was always coarse, and her raiment plain.  When the holy family returned to Nazareth, a lowly cottage became their abode, where Jesus, Mary and Joseph all worked with their hands to earn their daily bread.  There was no rest for them in this world of sin.  The second Adam came to the thorny ground of the first Adam, and took His portion of toil.  It was Mary's delight to be among the poor, and even to do menial offices for others.  She drank in more and more every day of the spirit of her child, and became more and more detached from every earthly thing.  When He left her to begin His ministry she was dependent upon the charity of others.  
  He was on the mountain, and in the desert, and why should not His mother be a pilgrim like Him?  And when He died He gave her in trust to St. John, that the disciple whom He loved might provide for her wants.  In Mary's poverty we see not only the entire renunciation of all worldly goods, but a complete separation from them in heart.  She had nothing, and she desired nothing.  Her soul was most tranquil, because no created thing had power to touch her heart.  She had put off all the garments of earth, how could she ever put them on again?  She had washed her feet from every defilement of corruptible treasure, how could she touch again the dust of this world?  She had only one possession, an infinite one, her God; and this filled her whole heart.
  There is much for us to learn in this brief view of the poverty of the Blessed Virgin.  The Church commends this virtue as most necessary for all who would tread in the steps of her Master.  Actual poverty is no doubt a grace for such as use it rightly.  The poor are freed from many temptations, and are not so likely to fasten their affections upon worldly things.  Their hard life here is an incentive to look above for enduring treasures.  To a certain extent they must feel themselves strangers and pilgrims on their way to a better country.  Hence the poor are generally the favored children of God.  The Lord was surrounded by them when He was on earth, and His church is especially their portion.  But poverty of spirit is essential for all who would be saved.  We must learn to despise worldly things, or we can make no real progress in the love of God.  Whatever goods of earth God may give us, we must not fix our affections upon them, nor desire them for their own sake.  As good Christians we must be detached from the treasures of which we are only stewards.  Our Lord Himself has said that it is hard for the rich to enter into His kingdom, and that they who trust in riches have no hope of salvation.  With the possession of wealth comes care, which weighs upon the soul, and bears it down among the pursuits of time.  Many spend their whole lives in toil and labor, and have no reward but treasures which one hour may take away, and which can never go beyond the grave.  The brief joys of the rich will never pay for the anxious mind or the aching heart.  If we are poor we must bless God for this grace, and endeavor to turn it to our sanctification.  If we are encumbered with the possessions of this life, we must use them for the benefit of our neighbors, as well as our own salvation.  We must make to ourselves friends of the mammon of iniquity, that when we fail they may receive us into eternal habitations.  The Catholic religion, animated by the spirit of its divine Head, has taught us many heroic lessons in the virtue of poverty.  It has taught many souls to emulate the graces of Mary, and cheerfully to lay down at the feet of Jesus every temporal thing.  Princes have descended from their thrones to cast the dust of this world from their feet, and to be wholly emancipated for the service of God.  The vow of poverty is a necessary condition of the religious state, since perfect consecration of the soul is inconsistent with any hold upon the things of this life.  No one can leave the world except by renouncing all that he has, and by choosing alone a heavenly treasure.  "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell what thou hast and give to the poor, and follow me, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven."
  The example of the Blessed Virgin will be our encouragement, as we endeavor to walk in her footsteps.  She will gently wean us from the love of all earthly possessions, guiding us, as we can bear it, to a more and more perfect life.  We need not be discouraged at the sight of our own self-love, nor at our great repugnance to mortification.  We shall not learn detachment all at once, nor in the easy way our imaginations have pictured.  But with Mary for our model we cannot wander from the right path  As things temporal recede little by little from our view, things eternal will draw nearer to us.  The chains that bind us to earth will be broken one by one, and the love of God will be the only solace of our free spirits.  Who would compare corruptible treasures with the infinite wealth of God, who becomes Himself the possession of His saints?

The Franciscan Fast.

Today (the 12th) is the first day of the Franciscan Fast that my wife and I and a few of the members of our small group of Franciscans practice.  It goes from today, the day after the feast of St. Martin of Tours until midnight of Christmas Eve.  This Fast is part of the Rule of 1221 that Francis gave to the people, who wished to live a life of similar virtue and prayer to that of his Brothers (and Sisters, with Clare).  This Rule allowed the people to remain as butchers, carpenters lawyers blacksmiths, husbands and wives, etc, and still live a life of penance.  As professed Franciscans H and I are obligated to live this Rule, and thus to follow it to the letter.  This fast gives me a chance to work on a vice that is exceptionally troubling to me and to practice a virtue in order to perfect it in a way that is harder to do in my everyday life.  My day seems to start out strong but by the end of the day my faults and failings have piled up again and the thought of my offences to God usually somewhat paralyze me.  This is a good time to really focus on a virtue and a vice, and maybe abstain from something for the next 43 days.  I try to keep it simple and focused, knowing that like the day, I always start out strong but near the end you-know-who has really begun to wear me down.  And, I am a very weak vessel.  

  One of the Rules of the Third Order is only taking two meals a day.  I believe I've read it both ways; skip breakfast and have lunch and supper and to have breakfast and skip lunch.  I see it as doing what is best for oneself, as long as one observes the rule.  I've been very lax in this regard, and for the next 43 days eating in this manner will be a goal of mine (and H's).  In the end, I've found, that if one works hard at whatever he or she has decided to undertake as a means of a fast, that eventually the gift of silence will descend. The interior man becomes quieter as the days roll on towards the Birth, a Holy Silence that turns ones thoughts to Him and His Mother.  For who can leave out the Blessed Virgin at this time of the year.  


Pray for us.  

Pray for the Synod.

I will continue to pray for the Bishops and all who are attending the Synod.  My Rosary novena is over, but I still offer my first Rosary of the day for them that are there, especially our Holy Father.  As a Roman Catholic who attends only the TLM, I find this whole Synod distressing to say the least.  Many other bloggers have said much better anything I could say about the situation, so I'll not really add anything here.  Let me just say that it is with great sadness that I watch these men of God, watched over by our Pope, debate such issues that should be non-issues.  Holy Mother Church should stick to her guns, and spend more time figuring out how to catechize  the faithful better instead of letting them wander off with their 'itching ears.'  Generation after generation of Catholics do not know their faith and are lead astray so easily!  If any of you are non-traditional and are reading this, please, just begin by reading the New Testament from start to finish, a good version, a Douay-Rheims version.  Ask questions among yourselves and find a good smart priest to help you with anything you don't understand.  Jesus, the Second Person of the Holy Trinity, gave us a complete road map on how to live, and most of us never use it.  Read it, and listen to every word that Jesus says.  Holy church did a good job of interpreting those words for close to 1,950 years.  Go back to those interpretations and listen with the eyes of your soul, eyes attuned to God.  

And pray.  

http://rorate-caeli.blogspot.com/2014/06/urgent-prayer-request-fssp-priests.html



Prayers needed, please.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners...

Thoughts from a Pilgrimage...

A few thoughts on the 2014 Auriesville Pilgrimage to the Shrine of the North American Martyrs.

  I can't seem to write anything anymore, my mind just doesn't seem to want to think that way, full paragraphs seem to turn into random thoughts with no connection, but I do feel like reflecting on this event, this day of penance and prayer, this past Saturday, the Vigil of Pentecost.

Setting up camp with my wife, Helen, breaking out the equipment for the first time in 20 years.


Watching the main tent go up where the Holy Mass took place, and the men putting together the Altar.

Falling asleep Friday night listening to the sounds of the train across the river, feeling the ground slightly rumble beneath me.

Praying Lauds Saturday morning at the kneelers set up for Holy Communion then hearing the tinkle of the bell followed by Fr. G. and a server rounding the tent corner for morning Mass.

Hearing a rousing Catholic song ringing in the air before seeing the 12 or so young men pulling a rickshaw type carriage up the main road to the starting point of the march.  They had been walking for three days to get there.

Kneeling to kiss Bishop Fellay's ring, who in all honesty, just wanted to fit in.  Seeing the big smile on his face as he watched us get ready to march.

Following along to the Rosary in Latin, chanted or sung, as we marched along the Canal Path.

Feeling time slow down as I walked along, letting my thoughts center on Christ and his Passion, on the Martyrs who died up on the hill and trying quiet my rampant thoughts.

Being part of the Celebration of a Pontifical High Mass!

Praying the Litany of the Saints as we circled the Coliseum.

The rousing chants of Viva Christo Rey! to end the Litany.

I have no real worldly words to completely describe the Pilgrimage.  It was between me and the rest of the Pilgrims, and between me and the Holy Spirit.  God looking down on us and hopefully smiling, pleased that men and women, priests and religious still do penance by walking a long distance to a Holy site.  Watching the priests and religious of the SSPX,  leading by example and being good shepherds.

 To God the Father let us sing,
To God the Son, our risen King,
And equally let us adore
The Spirit, God forevermore.
Amen.

Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God...

...a reflection...

This past week my wife has been away on Retreat, so it has been only myself and my son home here.  We've had some good conversations (he's 26) but there has been long periods at night of silence.  And with the silence, if my mind isn't whirring too much from the day in the world, then reflection.  This Lent I've been trying very hard to work on my particular vices that I really need to somewhat eradicate, and I've found that in the quiet at night not only am I able to examine how I've done during the day (usually badly) but the temptations that I'm working on come at me full force during these times.  These vices have always been very sinister and silent, and I've never been able to get a handle on them for very long.  I've found myself falling into their traps day in and day out, year after year.  Most of the time I only realize that I've fallen victim after the fact.  During this Lent, though, God has given me extra strength, it seems, to hold off the initial onslaught at least, which gives me a bit of time to think about what is happening to me; namely one assault after another by the enemy.  It is as plain as day.  The reading and re-reading of Spiritual Combat has sunk in a little and the incessant homilies on good and evil by good Latin Mass priests have left their mark.  A baby step in fighting the snares of the devil.  Thank you Almighty Father for the preparation, praise to You, Lord Jesus for opening up the way and stay by my side Blessed Mother, for you are our defense here on Earth.

Third Saturday In Lent

Today, the 29th of March, is the Saturday of the Third Week of Lent, Station at St. Susanna's.  Susanna was a Roman virgin who was martyred under the Emperor Diocletian.  An account of the test of the chaste Susanna is the Epistle for today.  As Father first read it through in Latin and I read along in my Missal, and then as I heard it again in English, so many different thoughts and actions stood out like bold print on a white page.  Her husband Joakim, an honourable man from a town that was less than honourable, (Babylon), the vivid description of the evil elders who fell into lust as they perverted their own minds, one scene after another.  The multitude  believed them as being the elders and the judges of the people, and they condemned her to death.  Susanna's cry out to God, her total faith in Him.  And then God raises up Daniel, who silences the people as he speaks the truth, truth that cuts through the lies of the perverted elders.  O thou seed of Chanaan and not of Juda, beauty hath deceived thee, and lust hath perverted thy heart: thus did you do to the daughters of Israel, and they for fear conversed with you: but a daughter of Juda would not abide your wickedness.  Young Daniel the Prophet, speaking of things that only he knew?  The thread of forgiveness weaves its way through the narrative, until truth triumphs in the end and God's Justice is brought forth.  This reading, coupled with the Gospel for today, John viii. 1-11, the woman pardoned by Jesus for her crime of adultery, shows us that God's mercy is beyond our understanding, as Jesus shows us. The scribes and pharisees thought they could finally pin him down once and for all by bringing to Him a, as they saw it, an open and closed case, a women caught in the act of adultery.  First the words to the scribes and pharisees; He that is without sin, cast the first stone; then His words to her, Go, and now sin no more.  To abstain from sin and cultivate virtue.  How can I find the love that brings forth such charity, such forgiveness?  I pray to God that I have not run up to that forgiveness wall, where my charitable acts are reserved for some and not all?  thoughts for me to work on as I move through Lent.  

One last thought.

After receiving I'm usually just quiet with my own prayers of thanksgiving, but today, for some reason (I was told, I know it!) I turned to the section of the St. Andrew Missal, Thanksgiving After Mass And Holy Communion.  I opened to the Prayer of St. Thomas Aquinas, which I don't recall ever reading, but thought I must share.  This is an unbelievably moving and beautiful prayer.

  I give Thee thanks, O holy Lord, Father almighty, eternal

God, who hast vouchsafed, not for any merits of mine, but

solely out of the condescension of Thy mercy, to satisfy me

a sinner, Thine unworthy servant, with the precious Body

and Blood of Thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ.  I pray that

this holy Communion be not to me a condemnation unto

punishment, but a saving plea unto forgiveness.  May it be

unto me the armour of faith and the shield of good will.

May it be the emptying out of my vices, the extinction of all

concupiscence and lust, the increase of charity and patience, 

of humility and obedience, and of all virtues; a strong defense

against the snares of all enemies, visible and invisible; the

perfect quieting of all my evil impulses, both fleshly and 

ghostly; a firm cleaving unto Thee, the one true God; and

a pledge of a blessed destiny.  And I beseech Thee, that

Thou wouldst vouchsafe to bring me, a sinner to that inef-

fable banquet, where Thou, with Thy Son and the Holy

Ghost, art to Thy saints true light, fullness of content, eternal

joy, gladness without alloy and perfect bliss.  Through the

                                       same Christ our Lord.  Amen.

LINEN ON THE HEDGEROW: How to love that boring Latin Mass

LINEN ON THE HEDGEROW: How to love that boring Latin Mass: The link address is here..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ezdpcm-C-Zg H/T to Joseph Shaw at LMS Chairman for his post on a young ...

Never Satisfied.

For a little more than a week now I've been sort of following a diet that my wife is on.  It's mostly at night, I, we (my son and I) eat what she eats; and it's all good, high in fiber, tasty, all that, but I never really feel full, never do I have that feeling of yeah, that was a really good meal and I am stuffed.  There is often that ( mini voice in my head speaking) Yeah, that was pretty good, but I am still hungry! but I know that this is good for me so I'll try to soldier up and move on.  "I'll have one cookie, please".  Oh well.  But the more I think about it the more I see the parallels between this trying to eat right and the spiritual life, especially my spiritual life.  At one time I was a member of a Secular Franciscan Order, and I am a professed Secular Franciscan.  I say was, because I no longer follow that way of the Franciscans.  The S.F. live the complete modern theology Catholicism, tied up completely with the Novus Ordo Mass, which we (H and I) do not attend.  How could we?  Once we discovered the Rule of 1221 and began attending the TLM our lives changed completely.  What we thought was good food for the soul was nothing but food for the man, an exhalation to ourselves.  For me, to go to Holy Mass, I almost always come away with a longing for more.  When I go to Mass and I leave I'm not completely satisfied, completely filled up as after a nice big meal.  No, Mass for me is what it is, the Sacrifice of Calvary in an un-bloodied manner, but also it serves as a sustaining event until the next Mass, and also, especially a Low Mass, can be a time of beautiful reflection and prayer.  I love especially the Low Mass during the week,  (praise God I am able to attend one!) 7:00am, before work.  A beautiful way to begin the day.  And then that time spent allows the mind, body and soul to come together in a correct way to begin the work day.  But there is always that longing, that desire for more of God, more of this holy life that I believe most of us long to live, are called to live.  In a perfect world is to be left alone, to follow the Words of Our Lord in order to achieve our final goal, Heaven.  I know this isn't happening, not to very many of us.  Our state of life leaves us no other choice but to get muddy, get dirty almost each and every day.  And that is alright, it is our duty to show ourselves to the world, to give good example.  That may be the only way we can call souls to God nowadays. The wave of this world is about to wash over us, and we, a bit like clams in their shells must hunker down and let this madness pass over us.  Our longing will sustain us, like a deep prayer that echos in our breast, our favorite one that we resort to in dark times.  The fullness of fluff that passes for a lot of Christianity today will perhaps overwhelm the world we live in for awhile, maybe even though our lifetime, but we can do nothing about that.  Strive for more, never let our hunger be satisfied, never live to say 'This is all there is in my spiritual life", never be satisfied with ourselves. The life of a Christian is a constant war against the world, the flesh and the devil.  Once we are satisfied, we have lost.  

Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be worthy of the promises of Christ.  

The Retreat

My son and I are heading out this Sunday to a 5-day silent retreat on the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola.  I've been looking forward to this for a long time while my son, who is twenty six,  I think has a bit of trepidation.  He's a very outgoing people person and I don't think he likes the idea of a silent retreat.  I guess it can be a bit daunting if you've never done it.  Last summer a good friend of mine and myself did a 3 day retreat of the same kind (although put on by different priests) and it went very well, it was very natural,  and we had no problem keeping quiet for three days.  That first time, I didn't know what to expect.  This time, I am looking forward to the silence. It seems no matter what I try to do here, in this state of life, I can't seem to re-arrange my life to give myself more time for silence.  The world seems to run rampant over all inner thought, leaving one almost defenseless at times to all onslaughts.  Overwhelmed, is perhaps a better word.  All in all, though, I'm trying to go into this retreat with a feeling of nothing, that is to say trying to keep my expectations down to nothing.  I desperately need  to un-focus from this world of work, sleep, work again.  Even starting the day with Holy Mass my mind can't slow down enough to escape into the silence of the Mass.  So be it.  Just read recently a beautiful piece, either in the Remnant or Catholic Family News on how to keep God before us at all times.  One part I especially liked, what resonated in me was this, and I shall paraphrase:  Do even the smallest action the best you can, and do it as though Jesus, or the Blessed Virgin or God Himself were right there doing it with you.  I had never thought of it that way, with God right there with me. It all of a sudden made all my actions seem just that much more important to do, because Our Lord is right there with me.  When I can remember to think like that the act that I do becomes that much more joyful, even the most redundant job at work.  For me, it was a small revelation, even on something that I had known from the start.  Thank you, Father, for that small gift.  

  Tomorrow I will pack.  Tonight, after this  I'll sit in the dark for awhile, try to get through a Rosary before sleeps overcomes me.  H is asleep on the couch.  I've already begun to feel the small sadness that occurs when we're apart.  Two become one.  For us, it has been an incredible journey to Heaven, a road hard and narrow but one we travel alone together.  For now, I'll let that small sadness rest quietly within me, I'll enjoy the sweet sorrow that a husband and wife have when they are parted for a time.  I know it is God, Family, Duty.  I know to love God above all things.  But for right now, this moment our love will linger, in a melancholy state of mind.

Dec. 24

December 24th, The Vigil of the Nativity, 11:30am and I'm still at work.  I said I'd leave at 12:00 noon, but I'm chaffing at the bit to be out.  I've been trying to slow my mind down since I left Holy Mass this morning, but at work, well, it's my state in life so when I'm here I have to be all here.  But now, it is time to go, to re-focus once again on the searching for shelter, for the Manger, the Birth. To not insert Christ in to Christmas but to allow everything else to flow to Him.  

Not easy in this mad world. 

From a book read by ST. Teresa of Avila

(from)

CHAPTER VII

Six Specific Blessings for Which We Should Give Thanks 

(Partial)

  The first thing for which both sinners and just men should bless the Lord is the universal, fruitful redemption he effected by sacrificing his life for our miserable one, paying in his grief over our death and captivity an enormous price for a vile thing, and shedding his precious blood to refresh earthly man and bring him to life so that we who were dead in sin could flourish in life.  He sealed our friendship with God through the kiss of false peace from Judas and was bound and taken prisoner to release Adam who had robbed and committed suicide.  H let false, lying witnesses charge him so that later he would not admit those witnesses the devil surely would set against us who have offended him in so many ways.  His holy countenance was spat upon to cleanse the face of the soul, which is made blacker than charcoal by sin, and his precious face was covered so that the veil of ignorance would be drawn from the soul and its blindness revealed to us.  He was brought before the judges so that we could appear without fear at the universal judgement.  Silent, refusing to speak, he paid for Eve's conversation with the serpent and in his divine person compensated for our evil, excessive talk.  He was stripped of his garments to strip away the old person and garb us with virtue and the attire of eternal betrothal.  He was beaten to ease the sting of justice's whip, which we truly deserve.  He was falsely honored on earth so that we might be truly honored in heaven.  He was crowned with thorns to crown us with glory.  He was made to hold a reed in his hand so the scepter of his empire would be ours.  He was crucified between thieves to free us from the infernal company we had chosen and set us in friendship with the holy angels.  -  The Third Spiritual Alphabet, Francisco Osuna

The Middle Road

This past week two comments from Pope Francis caught my eye. (I try not to pay much attention to his off the cuff comments.)  These occurred in a somewhat "official capacity".  His comments in his Homily and what was said and not said in his meeting with Giorgio Napolitano, President of the Italian Republic. I'm not going to go into it word for word, we all probably know what was said.  And how in his homily the other day he talked about the danger of being to caught up with Marian apparitions.  These and his obvious dislike for the Latin Mass have led me to this conclusion;  Our Pope (and the men who surround him) want to flat-line out the Catholic church to the point where the Church is completely inoffensive. Our Holy Fathers' comments on Medjugorje say to me that the Church wants nothing to do with any type of spiritual event that stands out or is different, or 'offensive to our Protestant brothers.'  For him, I believe, any Marion apparition fits this category.  (Notice he didn't defend, denounce or even mention Fatima or Lourdes.)  And I believe it is the same with the TLM.  Anything that takes away from the simplicity of the Novus Ordo Mass or that causes any division in a parish is not good, so, time to crush it.  No doubt about it, these are dark times for Holy Mother Church. To keep our heads in the sand and just either ignore what Pope Francis says or go along with him is to agree with what is happening to our Church.  To ignore 2,000 years of Christ's and the Church's  teaching and to just show love for neighbor and works of charity, well, anyone can do that.  All the hugging and smiles will not help the Sunday Catholics who never go to confession, don't bury their dead properly, show lack of reverence in Mass, who don't believe in Hell and probably don't even believe in Heaven.  The dumbing down of our Church so as to make it inoffensive fly in the face of Christs own words.    For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 

All because people disagree with Catholics or see us as 'righteous' or any of the denouncements used today, should mean nothing to us.  We should always take the high road, the Road to Heaven, no matter what the cost.  

  Intercede for us O Holy Mother of God, from the anger of God the Father.

Pope Francis: A reflection.

When I saw and read this image on Facebook, I asked myself; What about the Rosary?  Not any of the dozens of other questions that came to my mind afterward, but just this, what about our Mother's Rosary. I am still trying to hang on to all the positive sentiments (for lack of a better word) that as a Catholic man I should have for the Pope.  But for me, it is hard.  Not to get into the categorizing mode of 'what kind of a catholic are you,' I will say that I am, as they say, (or I say), an old school traditional Catholic.  I have been blessed to be able to go to only the Latin Mass, (Ecclesia  Dei, SSPX) except on Thursday mornings when I attend a Novus Ordo Mass with my parents.  It's nice meeting them there and going to Mass with them, something I've never done until this past spring.  In these times we must show ourselves through love and charity, and so I do what I must do.  But when I'm there I pray for our Holy Mother Church, that by some Hand of God she comes to Her senses and realizes the error filled road that she is on.  I'm sorry, but I can't help but see the situation this way.  I will not go on about Vat.II.  Enough has been said about that time in church history by men and women 100 times more gifted than me.  I am not a good apologist.  I don't go off looking for more crosses to bear by way of looking for or being argumentative.  But my inner anger was roused when week after week I read or hear of something Pope Francis has said that, to me smacks against the side of what the Church was and still is; a bastion of Truth and Strength in this modern world.  A Church that knows the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, justice and injustice.  It seems to me that Pope Francis, in his zeal to reach out to all people is leaving behind the flock that is his to tend.  Why must he leave behind all that the Church has always been, the Traditions and Dogmas that has helped the Church to be the rock that she is for over 2000 years?  We all know that the first task in this life is prayer, to praise God.  But not the prayer of words?  Then what, contemplative prayer for all mankind?  Many people are not made for that kind of prayer, many know only the Rosary, really.  Many will read this and say, what does he mean, should I give up my Rosary?  I know this line of reasoning sounds absurd but this is the following of the thread Pope Francis gives us.  


   As everyone knows lack of faith in Christ's teaching is widespread in the world.  This constitutes a double danger for men.  It is dangerous for the unbelievers themselves because they run the risk of losing God.  It is dangerous even for those who have the faith because unbelievers fight against the faith.  Believers, especially if they are not too well educated or instructed in the truths of the faith, run the risk of losing their faith in the face of the bad example, false arguments or persecutions with which unbelievers attack the faith.  (from) My Way of Life, the Summa Simplified for Everyone, 1952

  ST. Thomas saw the errors that could attack the Church even then.  Times have not changed much, only now we know we have a true Modernist for a Pope.  Modernism, liberalism, naturalism, all dangers that past Popes have warned us of, now perhaps embraced by our Holy Father in his quest for ecumenism.  I am left with only my prayers, contemplative and, if I want, chattering like a parrot.  The Holy Mass of the Ages and the Rosary of our Blessed Mother was good enough for many Saints and just good Catholics, I know these Gifts from Heaven will be good enough for me.    

  

The Pope and the President

I have no way to even begin to comment on this article.  I know our President is pro everything, but to hear him talk about life in such a haphazard is chilling.  Combining Pope Francis' remarks along with our Presidents in one article is something I thought I'd never read.  

But there it is.  

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Barack Obama on Wednesday welcomed Pope Francis' recent remarks that the Catholic Church must shake off an obsession with teachings on abortion, contraception and homosexuals, saying the pontiff was showing incredible humility.

"I tell you, I have been hugely impressed with the pope's pronouncements," Obama said in a CNBC interview.

Obama has worked to expand gay rights as president and last year backed same-sex marriage. He also supports the use of contraception and a woman's right to an abortion.

Pope Francis told the Italian Jesuit Journal last month that the Church had "locked itself up in small things" by its obsession with abortion, contraception and homosexuality.

Obama said the pope seemed to be someone who "lives out the teachings of Christ" and shows "incredible humility" toward the poor.

"That's a quality I admire," said Obama, who has yet to meet the new pope.

Our Guardian Angels

I wanted to post this just how I read it this morning, from my Breviary, on this, Oct 2, The Feast of The Holy Guardian Angels.


Reading 3
From the Sermons of St Bernard, Abbat of Clairvaux.
On Ps. xc
He hath given His Angels charge over thee. A wonderful graciousness, and a wonderful outpouring of love. For who hath given charge? And what charge? Unto whom? And over whom? Let us carefully consider, my brethren, let us carefully hold in mind this great charge. For who hath given this charge? To Whom belong the Angels? Whose commandments do they obey, and Whose will do they do? He hath given His Angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways, and that not carelessly, for they shall bear thee up in their hands. The Highest Majesty, therefore, hath given charge unto Angels, even His Angels. Unto these beings so excellently exalted, so blessed, so near to Himself, even as His own household, unto these hath He given charge over thee. Who art thou? What is man, that Thou art mindful of him? or the son of man, that Thou visitest him? Ps. viii. 5. Even as though man were not rottenness, and the son of man, a worm. (Job. xxv. 6.) But what charge hath He given them over thee? To keep thee in all thy ways.
V. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us.
R. Thanks be to God.