Obedience.

 After a short break, I've returned, crooked, stiff fingers pounding away on a keyboard with no rhyme or reason. Back in High School I learned how to type the correct way, but with hands and fingers doing their own thing now, I've modified my typing style, as I'm sure many of you have. Been busy lately doing many different things, usually not planned, but necessary. Doctor appointments, some planned, some not, but all resulting in satisfactory outcomes. I've decided to replace bad knee #2, just because it hurts more than bad knee #1. During the pre-op tests (nose swap, tinkle and electrocardiogram) they discovered some staph thing going on in my nose, resulting in cream on a Q-Tip, up each nostril three times a day for five days. Okay, slightly irritating, but doable. But also, shower for five days in a row and soap up everywhere but head with special liquid soap that doesn't really suds up and feels one feeling dirtier after. Grrr... Done, but not happily. I did it, and hope this takes care of the staph. Now the electrocardiogram came back with a slight blip in the works. They did a second one and the same blip came through. The anesthesiologist didn't like the result, apparently, they want to make sure I'm not going to fly from this earth half-way through the operation, so they ordered up an echocardiogram to get a better look at the heart. Sure enough, I have what laymen call a leaky valve, or myocarditis in real language. The tech called it a medium concern case, not to worry, they don't do anything at this point unless it gets worse. No dizziness bending down? None. Shortness of breath? No. She doesn't think this will stop my knee replacement. Yay! So that's my story and I'm going to stick to it as long as I can, lol! Which is interesting, since the last few days of readings on the days of Lent have had to do with obedience, albeit Bossuet was talking about religious following legitimate orders from their superiors, I still was able to incorporate much of what I read into my life (being a third order Franciscan obligates me, anyway), in just doing what the nurses and doctors are telling me to do. God loves obedience. If we obey our religious superiors, or in my case, anyone in charge of me, I'm actually obeying God in a most wonderful way, since He has but these people in my life for my good, and His Glory. I'll continue to listen and do what I must. God is in charge. Jesus and Mary, watch over me!

Today, the raising of Lazurus, even the dead (or sleeping) obey our Lord.

The beam in thy own eye.

There are so many on-going sagas one cannot keep up. I've gotten to the point where I refuse to constantly, or even moderately keep up with them. The war in Iran, the rising price of gas and food, Rome and the Vatican in a perpetual slid downward, it's really all too much. I did listen to the interview John-Henry Weston had with Mother Miriam. She's a tough cookie, not afraid to say exactly what's on her mind. They're a good pair, John-Henry likes to speak his mind also. They both agreed that Rome should not waste their time with trying to rein in the Society of Saint Pius X, when their own house is in shambles. Both agreed that the heretics and schismatics in the sad story is Rome and the Vatican itself. "And why seest thou the mote in thy brother's eye: but the beam that is in thy own eye thou considerest not?" - [Luke 6, 41]. Many other commentators are getting behind the Society, in this one, but many who still say that the Society should capitulate and obey the Pope. To me, it's as clear as a bell, as clear as it was when these talks started years ago. The Society has never wavered in its position concerning Vat. II, (thank God!), and as for blindly just obeying the Pope, I believe they are one step away from coming out and calling Pope Leo for what he is, part of many who would rather destroy the Church of Christ than save souls within it. And to those who say not to rock the boat, and by ordaining Bishops without permission would be like throwing a grenade into the works, I say the Vatican needs more than a grenade to shake them up. I'll leave this at that. 

Today Our Lord again rebukes the scribes and pharisees for their wiles and hardness of heart, for trying to steal from the mouths of the elderly. As today as sit was then, are all the Jewish people like this? No, of course not. But the leaders of modern-day Israel most certainly seem to me to be just as power hangry as the scribes and pharisees were in Christ's time. I pray that the world's leaders come to their senses and see the Jewish nation as it is today, and where their true affinity lies. 

Repent.

 Today is First Saturday, and Helen and I decided that this was the time to make a great effort to accomplish the First Five Saturdays. Unfortunately (and fortunately) the only First Saturday Mass worth going to near us is a Novus Ordo, but the priest who presides is a good and wise man, and for us, it's a Mass we can go to. Benediction at the end of Mass, then confession after. Altar rail and communion of the tongue. This almost didn't happen, considering the sheet of very slippery ice that covered our back deck and driveway, almost preventing us from getting to the car. But we made it happen, and we stayed on our feet. 

The mass today is, of course, Luke 15:11-32, the Prodigal Son. Our Lord speaks of the love a father has for his son, in an intimate one on one way, but God's immense love for us, each and every one of us, not just as a people but me, you, the good and the bad, and his constant call to us to repent, to return to God. And just think about the sins that each and every one of us has committed, how we've turned our back on Our Lord and just went out and did bad things, vile things, but He continues to call us, call us to repent and return to the fold in order to live with Him in heaven. It's pretty much impossible to imagine that love, the how and why of it. And to think that many people don't even believe in God, His Church, His forgiveness, any of it. I am here Lord, and I'm trying hard to hear Your Words and see Your Actions in my life.

Thought • God forgives a repentant sinner faster than a mother snatches her child from the fire. - Cure' of Ars.

 

Friday of the Second Week

 I had words that flowed into my head, but it was early in the darkness of the day. The words flowed as I added wood to the stove, as I fed the cat and as I began my Rosary. My first Rosary of the day, done in darkness, I devote to the Souls in Purgatory. If I was praying this morning Rosary when I was twenty-five (which, I wasn't...) I'd probably never even think of the poor souls. But at 71 friends and loved ones have flown from this earth, and many more are hanging on for dear life. All these I think about in the darkness of the early morning, as I try to focus on the Mysteries put before me. Our lives here are fragile at best, no matter what shape one's in. And since this is the season of Lent, I at least try to focus more on trying to change my bad habits for the better. Our Lord tells us today about the vineyard and of the Jews who refused to see the light and fall into darkness. That darkness is so profound. The graces given to them by God and still they rebelled, even to this day. Who can even comprehend that? 

May 5th or 7th, I'll be having my knee replaced, if all goes well. That's another thing that is on my mind, but I've thought about it so long that the decision has become a moot point. So many friends and relatives have been going through hard times lately, this should be something that I can handle, mentally, physically and spiritually. I'm hoping so, putting all myself into the Hands of Our Lord, the Great Physician. 

 

Goodbye knee!

Good afternoon from another cold but sunny day here in NH. Had a wonderful visit with one Dr. Varney today in Wolfboro. He's an orthopedic knee surgeon and he gave me the ok to get my left knee replaced. Hooray! I was thinking about getting both knees done at once, but he talked me out of it, and I understand completely. Helen came to the appointment with me, first time for that, but I wanted to make sure all questions we might have had were answered, which they were. In the course of watching me walk, and the 2-year-old x-rays of my hips it was decided that I didn't need a hip replacement first. Unfortunately, I have a few things going on at once, scoliosis in my lower back which leads to hip dysplasia which doesn't help at all my bowed legs and bad knees. He said my right knee looks much worse than the left, but the left carries all the pain, so it has to go! I asked when he thought the operation might happen and he said it usually takes about two months from now to the operation. Well, nothing I can do about that, I've started the ball rolling and hopefully this gets me a bit of easier walking a less pain. The rest of this messy body I'll probably have to just live with, although I can get the other knee replaced if I want in the future. I guess one operation at a time is the way to go.

Leaving early tomorrow morning for a trip to CT to visit my mom and bring to her eye doctors' appointment and possible visit my brother who's still in the hospital. I'll spend the night with our son, then head back on Wednesday. Life seems long at times, but as I get olde it seems to be flying by me, not so much in a physical sense, but mentally. In my readings this morning I was told to constantly raise my mind to God, as often as we can remember, during the day. I'll really have to train myself for that.