So much is happening, inside of me and outside, that's it's hard to digest it all. For starters, about three weeks ago my car died, the transmission gave out and with 249,000 miles on a car with a bad front end it just wasn't feasible to get it fixed. My son has one car, which he needs to get to work, my daughter has another (work and college) so my wife and I share hers. I drive it some days and other days I get a ride into work and catch a ride home with one of my co-workers. Things have worked out, mostly, and let me tell you, it is a humbling experience to ask others for a ride. So Franciscan! Almost like asking for alms. I wish we had better public transportation, I'd forgo another car altogether. H and I had grandiose ideas of re-financing our home and getting a newer used car that way but even going that route would have cost us a ton of money we don't have. So down one car has been a two sided coin; inconvenient in some ways but eye-opening in others. H and I talk about cutting back and in our semi poverty existence we're forced to not have much. My paycheck is pulled in many different directions, spread like the last of butter on many pieces of toast. But we were called to be Secular Franciscans and by the grace of God we will act like one in prayer, thought and actions.
Also, I'm finding that the noise of the world is unsettling at times, and I'm not sure if it's only because of Lent or God has manifested Himself in me in another new way. Mostly, though, I believe it has to do a lot with reading Sacred Scripture, which lately what I've been reading has really clicked in me. God and his works are to me a tremendous mystery that I'll never even begin to understand. God's ways are not our ways and to understand them completly is, for me, not important. I believe that the more we contemplate our God and His ways he will enlighten us as he sees fit. Keep the Cross ever before you. Yes, keep the Cross before you and put the secular world behind you, and that's what I've been trying very hard to do this Lenten season. Focus, keep focused by attending Mass as often as possible and while there delve deep into the Mystery of the Mass, the mystery of the Eucharist. My Lord and my God! He is there when we call Him, we just have to call him without the heart of stone. Oh, this time of penance, this time of Passion! Lord, help me to learn about you more and more during this season of Lent, and to stay more fixed on that narrow path until my time on earth is through.