Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Our Lord has a way of doing things which I can't even begin to fathom. This morning brought one of those moments that, when they happen to me (which is few and very far between), just stop me literally, in my tracks. I've always had a problem with people telling me what to do, well, not really that but how and when to do something. I always feel that I know best, the "Don't tell me how to do my job" sort of thing. Since taking my vows as a Secular Franciscan I've been trying to live by the rule of humility and humbleness, and most of the time I do, (sort of) but when someone rubs me the wrong way I have a hard time accepting what they say. And if there is any criticism along with whatever else they are saying, forget it. I'm usually steaming for hours after. This morning though, I don't know what He did, He didn't even say anything that I know of, it was more like a turning of one's head a bit or lifting a veil. All of a sudden I knew that I wasn't in charge, I knew that in order to really walk with Christ I must submit totally to my humility, not every once in a while but always, that in doing so I would find something, some insight, some way to make the Journey easier. A tremendous weight lifted from me, not instantly, but little by little as the full scope of the gift He'd just given me sunk in. And with that came the tears and I had to quickly head to the men's room (funny now, not so then. My co-workers wouldn't understand.) After a couple of minutes I walked out of that men's room a different person. And of course I was immediately thrust into a situation where, before I probably would of had an issue with. For once I was able to respond as a true follower of Francis, a follower of Christ. Even as I write this I feel this inner glow, that's the best way for me to describe it. A valuable lesson, given freely from Our God today, taken with thankfulness and, of course, humility. Praise Him forever.