Tuesday, the 16TH - The sudden firing Monday of a co-worker of mine has thrown me out of sync. Although not unexpected, it still came as a shock to most of us. Without going into details let me say that at times (most times!) he was rude, arrogant, sexist, racist, you name it he was it. But he was a good work friend, and I'm sorry to see him go. Even though I spoke with him about his actions on a personal level and as a General Foreman (I was his boss) He kept going back to his old ways, which just didn't fit in with our ways. It leaves me wondering if there was more I could have done, or should have. And I can't help thinking that his wife is going to flip when she hears the news. She knows how S acts and was always telling him to straighten out, your going to get fired.
Well, he did.
So it's like a hunk of darkness that settles inside of you when all this happens. The reading from Monday, James 1:1-11, how it is a joy to have trials, and to be tested in faith, produces perseverance. Well, I wasn't really tested in my faith but I was put to the test a bit with S, and maybe I failed. I've been waiting for him to contact me but he hasn't, he's texted and e-mailed almost everyone else here, complaining how he was shafted. Everyone here has an opinion but I've kept a low profile. Something (or someone,my guardian angel?) has kept my thoughts muffled, even inside. I will not pass judgement on S. We always told him "You don't need us to give you a shovel, your always carrying one around with you," in reference to him digging a hole for himself here at work.
Friday, the 19TH - It took all week to write this post and most of the uneasiness that stemmed from the firing of S has subsided, with the busyness of a workweek taking over. Even myself, I've gotten over the shock part but not the disappointment of the loss of a c0-worker. I'm probably just over analyzing the situation but I keep coming back to the whole event and I guess just wish the world were different. In a perfect world, this would be and that would be... but it just isn't so. We move on, we continue to labor, to love, to live our lives. An uncle of mine flew from this earth this week and his son, my cousin isn't even having a service for him, never mind a catholic funeral. Just burn him up and put him in the ground. So that's been on my mind this week. A week of trials, anger and reflection. And in the middle of the week Ash Wednesday. In a way, how perfect. Take up your cross, and follow me. I've got it Lord, and I'm with you.