It seems that I post a lot about Adoration. Right now, maybe because of the time of year (winter in CT) or the time in my life, I find that when I'm in His Presence I'm able to slow down a bit to either talk to Him or not talk, pray the Rosary or just let my mind wander a bit. Most of my day is spent at work, and there is no real time (except for lunch) to relax. A crazy way to earn a living, if you ever saw us in the shop. I'm hoping to get through a few more years and then we'll see what happens. I know that planning like that isn't the best way to go but I'll just leave it at that.
This past week at work was one of those 'weeks from h...,' if you get my drift. Certain people bring so much personal baggage with them to work and the negative energy really affects us. This is a person I've talked about before and over the years I've learned to love her somewhat, but not in the way I should. I don't know if I'll ever love her the way Jesus asks us to love, but I try. Lets say it's a part of my life that, as long as we work together I will be challenged in love. On account of other people who didn't fill in for co-workers who were out for personal reason, sickness, etc, our workplace this week was a personal strain on many levels and on many good people. Thursday's Adoration came up and earlier in the day as I tried to gather my thoughts for my hour and I thought I had a good idea of what I'd present to Him. But I'm thickheaded and thick hearted, thinking (once again!) that I was in charge. When I got there I re-read the First Reading and the Gospel for the day and mulled that around in my mind for awhile. Read again from Medjugorje Day by Day and as usual, became disappointed in myself. Cracked open the Bible and read more about Solomon and his troubles. Other prayers, the Rosary, but everything seemed dry and just out of reach. I should know better that with me Our Lord doesn't really say much, but with last week's uplifting hours before Him I guess I expected more.
So at six I left.
Halfway home (it's only a 12 minute ride) I thought again of my co-worker whom I really try to understand, who carries with her so so much anger and bitterness, and I thought to myself (or God?) What can I do, how can I deal with her? and as soon as I internally voiced this thought loud and clear came the answer; With Love. Only with love. It was if He'd been waiting for me through the whole Adoration to ask that question, heck, maybe I've been waiting my whole life. And as He said it to me, straight to my inner self, I sort of knew what to do with her, how to use God's love through me to her. And that is to show the Face of His Son all the time, not when it's convenient, but all the time. Such a challenge! Such a simple yet devastatingly difficult new beginning. Because when we put on the Face of Christ, the armor of Christ it gives us new strength. The Face of Christ is to be seen, not hidden under a basket, but brought forth to shine for our hard pressed co-workers, a daughter who's struggling or a son who's searching. A Face to shine on a wife (or husband) who is there for you forever, two become one. So my Hour with Him that I thought was anything but fruitful bore much after I asked my question from my heart.