Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Try as I might, after this most recent 'event' at work, after my heartfelt and sincere apology to the person I offended, I'm still feeling a cold lump of uneasyness in my chest. Since then this person, even though she said she accepted my apology she really hasn't, and has since refused to speak to me or have any interaction with me unless I initiate the conversation. And even then it is one word answers, dripping with hate. She cannot get passed the forgiveness stage, and maybe I shouldn't even be forgiven but I feel that I'm stuck in a place with no firm ground. I know I must move forward but I really don't want to leave this person behind. I felt that, a long time ago the Blessed Virgin Mother asked me to look after her, do whatever she asked of me, and I have. But my skin is not thick, and she can be, in my opinion, mean at times. I get no closer to an answer through prayer, I just seem to dance around the issue but get no closer.

Maybe this is as close as I can get.

St. Francis, walk with me today, be at my side and help me be humble, more humble than I've ever been.

1 comment:

precious cup said...

How is it when we start out with our heart as open to God and His will being brought forth through our lives, that we end up in a place where we have hurt someone and feel the pain ourselves. All I can do is think back to Jesus himself kneeling in the garden. He(God the son) was tormented and physically hurt but had the courage to go on with the will of His Father. We must try in our humanness to remember that he came here to lead us. Not as a king, but as a simple carpenter living a simple life. It is in every small step we take towards Him that we come closer to God himself. It won't be easy, but we are asked to follow. Shalom! H