...and you are right there, behind the small, round glass. You. Jesus Christ/God. At times I'm able to barely wrap my mind around the reality of it and then...it slips away. It's like taking two steps backward.
He is there and I'm here. Two pews and an open area separate us. But it may as well be 2000 plus years. When it comes to the Blessed Sacrament I'm at a loss for words or feelings. Maybe because it's so personal, just Jesus and me, and maybe one or two others, lost in their own journey. My journey, well, I don't know. I'm continually amazed and grateful for the graces that I've received. Once one realizes that nothing comes to us but from God, that He is behind all else that is, that one can rejoice in even the dark times, for even then His light will shine, when one feels and acknowledges the graces that flow then one can say a step has been taken on that journey. I have re-consecrated myself three times now to Jesus thru Mary, and each time, in the months thereafter, I've felt something inside of me open up more and more. Not so much as an opening up as a giving away, a giving away of myself. Here, have some more. I don't really know what I'm doing, but just take some more of me. And He accepts, gladly, with open arms. God loves a giver.
Me and Him. Some voices in the back, now whispering, perhaps new to Adoration. I am truly blessed to be here, quiet time with Him. And later tonight 10-11, in a small Adoration Chapel, filling in for a woman who's travelled half-way around the world to visit her daughter, a nun, in a part of Africa that is not a good place. She'll be gone for three months, and we've taken over her time slot. It will be good to be there, as it is good to be here. Him, drawing me close.
(written Thursday, the 22nd of September.)