Friday, November 19, 2010

Turn to love...

After work today I stopped over my parents house to help my Dad bring firewood down into the basement. He had triple bypass back in July, but he's really doing well. He's lost 32 pounds, does whatever the doctors say, eats right (finally!), etc. He loads the barrels from the woodpile, wheels them over to the hatchway and I lug them down the cellar stairs and stack the wood. We don't say too much when we work. I used to do most of the talking, but as I've gotten older I've realized I don't need to keep up a running conversation with him. I used to do it just out of nervousness, but recently something has changed between us. We've always had a somewhat rocky relationship, well, not rocky really, maybe edgy is a better word. He's very opinionated, and I didn't agree with a lot of his views. But like I said, something has changed. As I reflect on it perhaps its partly my attitude toward him and not him toward me at all. I can't put my finger on it, though. As we worked in silence my thoughts were as they usually were, filled with either prayer or a song, and this time it was a song, though I can't remember what it was. Probably John Michael Talbot, from his 'Chants' cd. That's all I've really listened to, lately. But whatever it was blended beautifully with our rhythm, him hauling and me caring, evening darkness falling around us, the moon high overhead. At one point my Dad said, "This is what you call moonlighting," and that small statement cracked me up. I know I'm very lucky to have both of my parents not only here with us but still so active. I haven't been the best son in the world over these 55 years. I've ignored them for long lengths of time, fought with them and spoken about them in not great ways, in which I'll never forgive myself. Looking back, how can anyone act that way to their parents? Recently I began my preparation for my re-consecration to Our Blessed Virgin Mother by re-reading My Ideal Jesus Son Of Mary, by Fr. Emil Neubert, S.M. In that book Fr. Emil shows the tremendous love Our Lord had for his Mother. I had forgotten the beauty of those passages, and as I read them during Adoration late Thursday I could feel a small sense of excitement and perhaps realization dawn again in me. So much of our lives are ruled by the secular world without us even knowing, when in many cases the choice really is ours to make. We live in the secular world but we need not be ruled by it. Unfortunately I let this world rule me most of my day, giving only lip service to our God. Working with my Dad was such a simple thing, but it was enough to act as a small catalyst, a small act resulting in the turning of a heart once again, a turning of a heart towards love.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great post Kam and thank-you for your personal note which gives great comfort. Fr. Joseph

Julie Cragon said...

Nice post Kam. "We live in a secular world but we need not be ruled by it." Amen.

Do Not Be Anxious said...

It's hard to describe our progress, if there is any, on our growth in holiness. Sometimes we know we are growing, but we more feel it than we can describe it. And sometimes we just wonder.

Thanks for honestly putting down your thoughts, kam. It's good for me to see others wending their way along, sometimes moving ahead, sometimes just wondering. But always trying, the most important thing to ensuring growth, always trying. And whether you realize it or not, helping others.

Daily Grace said...

I guess we are never too old to learn something from spending time with our folks.

Nice post KAM.

God bless

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

Good post, Kam. Good that your father is doing well post-surgery.

Lee Strong said...

Lovely, thought-provoking post.

I was guilty of many of the same things with my parents. Now they are both gone - Dad just earlier this year. He and I had grown closer in his last year, so I have those good memories. Mom and I, sadly, were strained up to her end back in 2005.

Meanwhile, my mother-inlaw passed this summer. This Thanksgiving we really felt the losses.

Treasure your parents - and the simple things.

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

What a "warm" post!

Daily Grace said...

Hope all is well, haven't heard from you in a while. Please don't let the ways of the world keep you from sharing the good Lord's message.

God bless you and yours always.