My posts seem to be fewer and far between and to be honest, I don't know if I'll be able to continue to find the words to express this inner journey. On top of that each post I write takes me hours to finish, and right now at this stage of my life I just don't feel I have the time to compose a quality post.
But I like posting.
I like posting and it also helps to hear the different views that we have concerning our own personal journeys and others. In a world that's growing darker, it's good to see light shining, however dimly. And the darkness comes from the countless souls who are turning away from God. Never mind all those that never acknowledged his voice to begin with. I'm concerned, but what can I, or any of us do, really? We can give a good example, be true witnesses to the faith, and pray.
But to be true witnesses, how hard is that? At times for me almost impossible. I always feel I'm a good witness in my mind, but as soon as I'm in disagreement with someone or something I forget who I am and fall away to my old ways. I forget I'm Franciscan! I'm more concerned with the log in my neighbors eye than the wooden beam in mine. Today's Gospel. To maintain the Face of Jesus to all, to avoid the 'forked tongue', these are aspects of my life that challenge me every day, and I mean really challenge me. And I know why. We can do nothing without God. We cannot do anything alone. I haven't given myself up to Him completely, yet. How can I do it? Why do I hold on to control, onto my way of thinking, onto my worries about money or work or whatever? Why? Because I'm holding onto this world, that's why, and my mind isn't focused enough on the world above.
Matthew 6:24-34. "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear." That is pretty radical stuff. But what is He asking us? What is God asking us? He's asking us for everything. To give up our cares to Him. To trust Him. To have deep faith. How can I give of myself so completely and still maintain the responsibilities of a father, a husband, a provider? I must find the deep faith. Oh Lord God, why do you ask of things I have no answer for? How can I follow you fully when I fling my own wall before You? Please, O God my God grant me the grace to tear down those walls, tear them down and never build again. My Lord and God, I pray to You.