Thursday, April 16, 2009

Final Preparations!

Getting ready to leave tomorrow for the Jamaica Mission trip and getting ready is always a trying time for me; I'm not good at tying up the lose ends and whatnot. That I leave to H, and I shouldn't. I have this romantic idea of just throwing a couple of things in a bag and running out the door, like Bilbo Baggins did, following Gandalf and the dwarfs in 'The Hobbit.' Not! I also get real emotional about my daughter, Celena. I know, by a long shot that I haven't lived up to her expectations as a Dad, and I haven't lived up to MY own expectations. We all wish we could have been the perfect dad. I just doesn't happen. So the regrets tear at you, and all the more when its time to part. I just want to watch over her, hold onto her, make sure no harm comes to her, calm her fears. I don't know if I've ever accomplished any of those things. I know she doesn't need me to do any of those things, I'm just a father and I want to, probably just to calm my own insecurities and fears. Odin, on the other hand, I never worry about. His existence on this earth supports me.

I know I'll feel better when I get on the plane.

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