The beam in thy own eye.

There are so many on-going sagas one cannot keep up. I've gotten to the point where I refuse to constantly, or even moderately keep up with them. The war in Iran, the rising price of gas and food, Rome and the Vatican in a perpetual slid downward, it's really all too much. I did listen to the interview John-Henry Weston had with Mother Miriam. She's a tough cookie, not afraid to say exactly what's on her mind. They're a good pair, John-Henry likes to speak his mind also. They both agreed that Rome should not waste their time with trying to rein in the Society of Saint Pius X, when their own house is in shambles. Both agreed that the heretics and schismatics in the sad story is Rome and the Vatican itself. "And why seest thou the mote in thy brother's eye: but the beam that is in thy own eye thou considerest not?" - [Luke 6, 41]. Many other commentators are getting behind the Society, in this one, but many who still say that the Society should capitulate and obey the Pope. To me, it's as clear as a bell, as clear as it was when these talks started years ago. The Society has never wavered in its position concerning Vat. II, (thank God!), and as for blindly just obeying the Pope, I believe they are one step away from coming out and calling Pope Leo for what he is, part of many who would rather destroy the Church of Christ than save souls within it. And to those who say not to rock the boat, and by ordaining Bishops without permission would be like throwing a grenade into the works, I say the Vatican needs more than a grenade to shake them up. I'll leave this at that. 

Today Our Lord again rebukes the scribes and pharisees for their wiles and hardness of heart, for trying to steal from the mouths of the elderly. As today as sit was then, are all the Jewish people like this? No, of course not. But the leaders of modern-day Israel most certainly seem to me to be just as power hangry as the scribes and pharisees were in Christ's time. I pray that the world's leaders come to their senses and see the Jewish nation as it is today, and where their true affinity lies. 

Repent.

 Today is First Saturday, and Helen and I decided that this was the time to make a great effort to accomplish the First Five Saturdays. Unfortunately (and fortunately) the only First Saturday Mass worth going to near us is a Novus Ordo, but the priest who presides is a good and wise man, and for us, it's a Mass we can go to. Benediction at the end of Mass, then confession after. Altar rail and communion of the tongue. This almost didn't happen, considering the sheet of very slippery ice that covered our back deck and driveway, almost preventing us from getting to the car. But we made it happen, and we stayed on our feet. 

The mass today is, of course, Luke 15:11-32, the Prodigal Son. Our Lord speaks of the love a father has for his son, in an intimate one on one way, but God's immense love for us, each and every one of us, not just as a people but me, you, the good and the bad, and his constant call to us to repent, to return to God. And just think about the sins that each and every one of us has committed, how we've turned our back on Our Lord and just went out and did bad things, vile things, but He continues to call us, call us to repent and return to the fold in order to live with Him in heaven. It's pretty much impossible to imagine that love, the how and why of it. And to think that many people don't even believe in God, His Church, His forgiveness, any of it. I am here Lord, and I'm trying hard to hear Your Words and see Your Actions in my life.

Thought • God forgives a repentant sinner faster than a mother snatches her child from the fire. - Cure' of Ars.

 

Friday of the Second Week

 I had words that flowed into my head, but it was early in the darkness of the day. The words flowed as I added wood to the stove, as I fed the cat and as I began my Rosary. My first Rosary of the day, done in darkness, I devote to the Souls in Purgatory. If I was praying this morning Rosary when I was twenty-five (which, I wasn't...) I'd probably never even think of the poor souls. But at 71 friends and loved ones have flown from this earth, and many more are hanging on for dear life. All these I think about in the darkness of the early morning, as I try to focus on the Mysteries put before me. Our lives here are fragile at best, no matter what shape one's in. And since this is the season of Lent, I at least try to focus more on trying to change my bad habits for the better. Our Lord tells us today about the vineyard and of the Jews who refused to see the light and fall into darkness. That darkness is so profound. The graces given to them by God and still they rebelled, even to this day. Who can even comprehend that? 

May 5th or 7th, I'll be having my knee replaced, if all goes well. That's another thing that is on my mind, but I've thought about it so long that the decision has become a moot point. So many friends and relatives have been going through hard times lately, this should be something that I can handle, mentally, physically and spiritually. I'm hoping so, putting all myself into the Hands of Our Lord, the Great Physician. 

 

Goodbye knee!

Good afternoon from another cold but sunny day here in NH. Had a wonderful visit with one Dr. Varney today in Wolfboro. He's an orthopedic knee surgeon and he gave me the ok to get my left knee replaced. Hooray! I was thinking about getting both knees done at once, but he talked me out of it, and I understand completely. Helen came to the appointment with me, first time for that, but I wanted to make sure all questions we might have had were answered, which they were. In the course of watching me walk, and the 2-year-old x-rays of my hips it was decided that I didn't need a hip replacement first. Unfortunately, I have a few things going on at once, scoliosis in my lower back which leads to hip dysplasia which doesn't help at all my bowed legs and bad knees. He said my right knee looks much worse than the left, but the left carries all the pain, so it has to go! I asked when he thought the operation might happen and he said it usually takes about two months from now to the operation. Well, nothing I can do about that, I've started the ball rolling and hopefully this gets me a bit of easier walking a less pain. The rest of this messy body I'll probably have to just live with, although I can get the other knee replaced if I want in the future. I guess one operation at a time is the way to go.

Leaving early tomorrow morning for a trip to CT to visit my mom and bring to her eye doctors' appointment and possible visit my brother who's still in the hospital. I'll spend the night with our son, then head back on Wednesday. Life seems long at times, but as I get olde it seems to be flying by me, not so much in a physical sense, but mentally. In my readings this morning I was told to constantly raise my mind to God, as often as we can remember, during the day. I'll really have to train myself for that. 

Knock

If anyone cares, I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with the posts, but sometimes real life gets in the way, as all of you know. Had two of the three grandkids over yesterday, The Boys, they're off from school this week so they spent the day hanging with Grandmother and Grampy. Snow tubing got the call, and Helen and the Boys put on a good show. The course is getting packed down but it still lends itself to some wild off the course adventures. Again, no injuries, but a couple of the trees did take a snow tube beating, lol!

Wonderful commentaries today on Holy Scripture. Every day in Lent there is a mass for that day, and Fr. Troadec and Bishop Bossuet did not disappoint. The persistence of the Canaanite women lends itself perfectly to our state in life. Knock. Persevere in knocking, even to the point of rudeness, if that were possible. There is a way of forcing God and wresting His graces from Him, and that way is to ask continually with a firm faith. - Bossuet. Bossuet goes on to remind us to pray, and pray constantly, during the day, at night and every time we rise. Do we? I know I don't, but I also know that I hope I can try harder to shut down this world and pray to God in its absence, in the quiet, that hopefully will ensue. And again, the faith of the Canaanite women, in proclaiming that even the dogs eat the crumbs from the table. Her faith is so great, that it wins over Jesus. He is so merciful, but he wants us to do our part, too. He wants us to go to the edge for love of Him, to really prove to Him our love, faith and trust in Him. 

Prayer • Lord, give me a pure faith, a strong and ardent faith, which makes me cling to Thee with total security, even though Thou remainest hidden to my gaze. - Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen.

Saturday After Ash Wednesday.

 It's been a busy last few days, with driving to Nashua for the Low Mass and ashes at St. Stanislaus Church. St. Stans doesn't have much parking to begin with, and with the piles of snow everywhere, finding a place to park the Chevy Avalanche was almost futile. The small parking lot that has a couple of handicap spots was fenced off due to construction. Finally, Helen said just park it anywhere in this lot and put your placard up, which we did. After the beautiful Mass, when we came out there were at least 5 more cars jammed in. All good, it worked out. 

After that, Wholefood's/Aldi's, then home. A long day but well worth it. 

Thursday, Doctor's appointment, yearly checkup. All my blood work came back really good, surprising even me. But before Dr. R. even started his doctor thing, the first words out of his mouth, after how are you doing was, explain to me the rules for fasting! I saw you were coming in today and I know you're a Franciscan and would know what to do! He said he wasn't sure, so he didn't eat all day, then after he got his ashes at the last mass of the day, when he got home, he had to eat four slices of cheese, he was so cooked! He wanted to know if that was alright! I explained to him to Rules for fasting and abstinence during lent, and I told him that Our Lord loved what he did, it was an act of love to Jesus. He then said that he'll probably just not eat every Friday, it will make it easier for him. Ok. He must not like fish! After that, we talked about getting my left knee replaced, something I've been mulling over for a while. I told him my biggest concern was infection after, one hears so many horror stories. Back in CT, in my and other's opinion, the hospitals just aren't up to what they should be, cleanliness-wise. He was very re-assuring, and I tend to believe him. He's going to make a referral for me, so I'll wait for the call from the knee doctors...

Thought for the day: With the tongue, we bless God the Father; and with it we curse men, who have been made after the likeness of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so. - James 3: 9-10. 

A disordered life.

 I'm trying to post every day, but I'm not good enough or disciplined enough to do it. I can see tomorrow, Ash Wednesday shaping up to be a busy day, with hours of travel time added in. May or not see a post tomorrow. On the bright side, I was able to check off everything from my to-do list by lunch time. Not a lot of things to finish, but one important job was making a new list for the ushers at our Chapel. We're called ushers, but all we do is pass the baskets every week for the collections. There are only five of us but we're all old school, so an actual paper list works best for us. This list goes out until the last Sunday in June, so I won't have to worry about this for a while. 

Lent is now right on top of us, and tomorrow we'll make the trip to Nashua for the Fraternity Mass at 12:10. We've been there before, it's a very nice church, but not good in the way of parking. I have a handicap placard, but when there's a lot of people, even that might not be of any help. Not a problem, if I can park close, good, if not these small sufferings are good for me. I try to accept them well, but I'm not good at it. And we much teach ourselves to suffer well, even joyfully, but let me be the first to tell you, to suffer joyfully, I really don't understand how that is done. I consider myself a happy man, sort of, normally, well, you know what I mean. But joyful, that's something different, that is a more spiritual thing, and it's something I ponder when that subject comes up. A disordered life prevents us from seeing clearly, and that's probably my problem. Now that I'm older and somewhat handicapped, the physical attractions of this world are less, but sometimes the mental and spiritual distractions are much more. Satan never gives up his claws in you; it's a war that will last until our last dying breath. And suffering is all a part of it, perhaps for some of us, the biggest part of a life well (trying to) lived. 

• Our passions, our innate tendency to enjoy, often cry out in us and try by a thousand pretexts to hinder us from following Jesus crucified. Let us remain firm in our faith. - Fr. Gabriel  

Getting things done.

 This is the beginning of a fairly busy week here at the ranch. This morning was bloodwork and tinkle in a cup for this Thursday's once a year physical. Not really looking forward to it, even though at my age and physical health it's usually just a question-and-answer thing. How do you feel, anything you need to have done, etc... I think I'll bring up the issue of my really bad left knee, which I'm sure need replacing. I guess I'll have to move forward with that. One funny anecdote from a couple of visits back; the nurse was taking some pre-doctor notes and she sprang me with the question "Do you know what day it is?", then "What is the date?" I knew what day it was, but I wasn't 100% sure on the date! I'm retired, who cares what the date is! I was a little teed-off but I let it go. Anyway, I'll have him look me over and we'll see where the chips fall. 

On the spiritual front, Ash Wednesday is this week and being a SSPX Mission Chapel, unfortunately no Mass on Wednesday. We do have a FSSP Church downstate in Nashua, St. Stanislaus, and we decided to head down that way. They have a Low Mass at 12:10 with distribution of Ashes before Mass. The plan is to leave early and go to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's before Mass instead of after. We usually go to these two stores once a month and do our big shopping there. Organic and non-GMO is what we really try to stick to, and it seems to be helping us. Between those three destinations, that should take up most of our Wednesday. Friday I'm Motor Vehicle bound, re-new my license and handicap placard. Iay have to take an eye test, but no problem with that. 'Must remember what day it is...'

Today is the Feast of Blessed Veridiana, Virgin, Franciscan Third Order Secular. She died in 1242, and her story always stirs up in my mind the incredible lengths that the Blesseds and Saints would go to leave this world while still in it. I'll leave you with this, after she returned from pilgrimages to Compostella and Rome: 

Upon her return home, Veridiana had an anchorage built hard by the chapel of St Anthony in Florence. The cell is preserved to this day. It is ten feet long and three and a half feet wide. For furniture there is only a ledge, a foot wide, projecting from the stone wall and serving as a seat. A small window in the cell opens upon the chapel. Through it she could attend Holy Mass and receive Holy Communion as well as the necessary bodily nourishment. Blessed Veridiana was only twenty-six years old when, with a crucifix in her arms and escorted by her spiritual director and a great number of people, she entered the narrow cell and permitted the door to be immediately walled up. In this voluntary retirement she spent the remaining thirty-four years of her life as an anchoress in prayer and severe penance. In summer her bed was the bare earth; in winter she lay on a board with a block of wood serving as a pillow. Her food consisted of bread and water and herbs. Her only living associates were two large snakes which crept in and out of her cell, with whom she shared her food and her dwelling, in the spirit of penance, for many years. About the year 1222, when St Francis was preaching penance in the vicinity of Florence, he also went to visit the poor anchoress, gave her the habit of the Third Order and many beautiful lessons on the proper way to live a contemplative life.

Quinquagesima Sunday.

 Our Lord takes the time to proclaim to His apostles exactly what is going to happen to Him; delivered, scourged and put to death. They apparently understand none of it. Their ears are still closed. They heard this told to them by Our Lord Himself, we, on the other hand, have not heard it by Him, but we've heard this Gospel reading many, many times, contemplated it and prayed about it, but are our ears closed most of the time, our hearts cold when it comes to these revelations?  We cannot tarry, we cannot linger over these worldly goods that can take up our time and thinking. The Church provides us with this, the Season of Lent, to help bring us back into the fold, so to speak. Let us not waste another moment.

Opinion

Yesterday was an off day to hanging around the homestead and doing chores. We took a ride to Marden's in Sanborn, Maine, just because. Between the cold and the snow and the ice here in NH we decided we needed a break. No, not down south type of a winter break, just getting out of the house a pickup a few things. I brought my stand-up walker which enable's me to get around pretty easy, although by the time we arrived home my legs were pretty cooked. Still, it was a great day, capped off by late lunch at Lord's Clam Box, one of favorite places for eating out. The food agrees with Helen, so that's where we go. 

If you've never been to Marden's ("I should have bought it when I saw it!"), I can only describe it as a Ocean State Job Lot kind of place, only with tons more clothes, a giant section of fabric, etc, tools food, you name it. And cheaper in price than Ocean State. I ended up with a hat, a shoehorn, a shirt, tiebacks, a new blade for the chop saw and I can't remember what else. A good day of shopping.

And so not to miss the elephant in the room, I'll keep this brief. The SSPX should consecrate the bishops, according to plan, come what may. As far as I'm concerned, The Society won't be and never has been, in formal schism. How can these heretics in Rome, proclaim that anyone could be in schism, when they themselves are in schism? Nevertheless, if the 'Pope' does declare them to be in schism unfortunately I believe the Society will lose some priests and seminarians, although I don't really know where they will go. It's a sad situation, but this has been coming to a head for many years and as far as I'm concerned, the Papacy is in the wrong and always has been. 

St. John Vianney and St. Pope Pius X, pray for all involved!

Listening...

 Some things I think I know, but getting caught up in the excitement of a New Hampshire winter, (shoveling, snow blowing, feeding the wood stove), I tend to forget things. In light of this, let me explain. Helen and I enjoy most of the Winter Olympics sports. The opening and closing ceremonies, forget about them, generally. So, we've had the tv on during the day, something we rarely ever do, just to watch the Olympics. And you tend to get into the mindset of the time, Olympic Time, so to speak. Where am I going with this? I'm thinking that I'd sort of forgotten how easily the media can manipulate us, get us to watch and think about just what it deems important. Kidnappings, sports, etc. Today, I remembered that there is still a war going on in Ukraine. The Russians are still bad (hardly any Russians competing) and the Israelis are still doing shady things in Palestine, but nobody hears about them lately, not unless one looks hard. That's why today I took to heart the Wednesday's reading, on how God has slowly revealed Himself to us, first to Adam and Eve, then to Noah, Abraham and Moses, then to all the prophets. Only little by little does He reveal himself to men, and only by His Son. I'm paraphrasing this a bit, Fr. Troadaec does a much better job explaining this. What was brought back to my light, through the fog of tv/media hustle, is that Our Lord is the only one we really must listen to, in reading, prayer and through the sacraments. 

I'll continue to watch the Olympics, but with some sacred reading and my Rosary close by. Oh, Our Lady of Lourdes, intercede and pray for us!

Precautionary snow removal.

 Last fall Helen and I (mostly Helen, if truth be told), built a small, roofed area back behind the garage. Helen kept it pretty simple so consequently the pitch of the roof was just slanted enough for the rain to run off but flat enough for Helen to get up there to shingle it. This roofed area has come in handy, housing all sorts of stuff that last year may have spent the winter 'outdoors'. Well, I looked at it the other day now after a few snowstorms, and there was at least a foot of snow on it. Ugh. I thought about breaking out the roof rake, but I knew I'd never get away with slipping over there and pulling at least some of the snow down without getting a stern and perhaps vocal "What the heck are you doing??" from those involved. Well today, I found my chance. Helen was off to Ten-Hut, The Dollar General, the air temp was a balmy 27° and I felt pretty strong. I had to shovel my way just to get in front of the roofed area, but then I was able to get about 3/4 of the deep snow off the roof. This is because we have an Alberta Clipper sailing through tonight (4-6'') and I just wanted the roof to make it through this winter. Done and back in here in front of the keyboard, without getting caught, giving you my exploits. All good. 

St. Scholastica, pray for us!

(Pics below of last Fall's action). 

More Lenten reading.

 Helen is reading this for Lent. She started it now and it is very powerful, in the lines of The Liturgical Year. Father holds nothing back in his instruction. Well worth the read. 

For us, we had Monday morning Mass, something we haven't had in a while, on the feast of St. Cyril of Alexandria. Eight o' clock morning Mass is not easy for me to do, even getting up at 4:30. I complain because we don't have daily mass, then when we do, I sometimes grumble.

Go figure.

First Saturday

 At the beginning of this year Helen and I decided to try to make the 5 First Saturday Masses. For us, this is not an easy task. We usually go to the SSPX entirely, and living up here in NH means that unless our priest is spending the weekend here, Mass on Saturday is out of the question. St. Joseph's Oratory in Portland only offers Sunday Mass and the Fraternity is located in Nashua, which is 1 1/2 hours away. Fr. Hewko and the Marian Corps is over an hour away, plus he's a sedavacantist and a Society Basher, so we stay clear of him. That leaves us with finding the best Novus Ordo parish around, which for us is Holy 
Rosary in Rochester. Fr. Gilbert, on First Saturday, does a full-blown Mass, with all the bells and whistles, including Benediction. It was a good alternative for us. Two months in a row, and with snow falling this morning. And a bonus, confession after. It's obviously not the best situation, but it worked out well. You can tell Fr. Gilbert has a great love for Our Holy Mother. 

Stay warm, everyone, another cold blow is about to arrive. 

St. Romuald, pray for us!

 

The life I deserve (one way or another...)

 Went out this morning to bring in wood for the stove, with the thought in mind that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing today. Our state in life dictates what we do, how we do it and when. The thought of our state of life has come up in my readings again and this time, after so many times perhaps the thought has taken a small root. I'm seeing our state in life as a small anchor, not as a way of holding us in one place but as a binding force, something that prevents us from wandering too far from our purpose. It also helps me to remember my limitations, which I've acquired many of. I try to do good with what I've got, at this point. And for now, in the cold of NH, when it's time to bring in more wood I try to do it cheerfully, and without hesitation. Spiritual reading, helping Helen and the family where I can, bringing out the dog and bringing in wood. 

The life I've been given and surely deserve, one way or the other. 

Bossuet

This will be my Lenten, reading, again. I always read Praying with the Saints, Angelus Press. Right now, its Winter. Fr. Troadec is very good at giving one a nice history of each Saint in a page and a half, with good meditations to go along with it. Bishop Bossuet is different, more of an intellectual hard hitter from the 17th century. Always a good change for me. 

Have been meditating on the coming clash between the SSPX and Rome. The first unsettling part for me is that the Pope himself will not meet with Fr. Pagliarani. Why, one wonders? Perhaps the Vatican just can't come to grips with the head of the Society shaking hands with the Holy Father? Would the ramifications be just too much in that single photo shoot? Time will tell, even though I have a feeling this meeting with The Tucho will never take place. Just sayin'...  
 

Preparations

 Well, I'm back.

I haven't really gone anywhere, I've just been away from this page for a year, because, as usual, I don't have much to say that's worthy of saying, but the time has come to begin again. The season of Lent is fast approaching, and my guilt at not having a very fulfilling Advent because of a lack of preparation has been gnawing at me. In my older age I've become lazy, bad physical health notwithstanding. I owe it to myself to be more disciplined in my day, in my thoughts and in my spiritual life.  But he that knew not, and did things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. And unto whomsoever much is given, of him much shall be required: and to whom they have committed much, of him they will demand the more. (Luke 12:48.) Well, that is probably me. God has given me so many good things, the things that make me happy, make me smile, make my life keep moving forward, all well and good, but I also see now that the trials and sufferings that I have on a daily basis are also wonderful gifts, perhaps the greatest gifts of all from God, for I believe that those sufferings are my penance for those lost years. Every day, in one book or another, I read about the Saints. I read how most suffered, for some longs years, others, dying young. I am not a saint, but I hope, before the end, I become one. I hope that when the end comes, I can go singing to the gallows, fairly confident that I have run the race. But, BUT, if I don't try to take this life to the next level, because I know God wants me to and St. Francis is up there staring down, waiting for me to show him what I'm worth, why I was called to be a Franciscan, then all is lost.

I jest, in many ways when I write, using dumb metaphors when I should be more serious... (singing to the gallows, up there staring down,). Perhaps because I see down the road and it scares me to death. There is no time to let one's guard down and Lent is a great time to dust off the armor and begin the battle. In all things taking the shield of faith, wherewith you may be able to extinguish all the fiery darts of the most wicked one. Ephesians 6:16

And so, I begin again.